The Words that Saved Me - A Review (AD Gifted)

A while ago, I received an email from Sarah Mozer, asking if I would be interested in reviewing her book on my blog. Once she’d explained a bit more about her book and the story behind it, I was really keen to work with Sarah, as it sounded like a book I, and therefore my readers, might really benefit from. The back of the book describes it all perfectly, so I thought I’d start by just sharing what it says…

 

“A raw and emotional collection of poetry on life with severe chronic illness. Both heart-breaking and hopeful, these poems follow the story of how as a bedbound twenty-something, I found the courage and resilience to keep going when every part of me was saying give up.

 

The Words That Saved Me was written and compiled over three years from the confines of my bed – beginning in the darkest depths of depression and continuing as I began to find the possibility of peace amongst the pain, limitations, and isolation I was, and still am facing. This book is a reminder of how life can get better even when it truly feels impossible. 

 

Whether you have experienced chronic illness or not, I hope the words in this book resonate with you in some way and that by sharing my soul with you, your soul hurst a little less.”

The book is broken down into sections, starting with an introduction that tells you a bit about Sarah and her experience of chronic illness. She discusses the different emotional stages she has been through during her chronic illness journey, and offers inspiration for others who may currently be in a dark place.

 

Following on from the introduction, the next few chapters take us through the different emotional stages, from darkness, to sparks of hope and finishing with helpful things. I thought it might be useful for me to talk to you about each stage in turn, and how I found the poems in that section.

 

So we’ll start with darkness – a section I can relate to a lot at the moment. The poems in this section are incredibly raw and blunt, communicating the desperate place that Sarah found herself in. As someone who is currently going through a relapse in their mental health, I felt I could really relate to a lot of the poems and how I’m currently feeling. One poem in particular stood out to me – it’s called Frayed and I wanted to share it with you:

 

“How much can I endure?

When is enough enough?

At what point will it all become too much.

I try

And I try

Holding on to threads of hope

As they fray to single strands,

I can’t fight this fight forever.”

 

The book then moves onto ‘The Words I Need to Hear’, and it reminds me of a big hug from a loving friend. As you make your way through the pages, you are reassured and comforted by kind words, just as a best friend would do to you if you were in the dark place spoken about at the beginning of the book. Like I said, I’m really struggling with my mental health at the moment, and I found reading these words a real comfort. Words such as “If all you did today was exist, then to exist was your purpose. Maybe is seems like a waste, but you are here for a reason,’ from the poem Stardust and Magic. 

 

We then progress to ‘Spark of Hope’ where you get a sense of a real shift in Sarah’s mental state. Suddenly, rather than living in darkness, you can feel hope and optimism, albeit fairly tentative. She still acknowledges the darkness and how overwhelming it can be, but you feel drawn into the fact it seems possible to move forward and onto something a bit more positive. I really liked the poem ‘Surrender’ in this section, particularly these lines:

 

“Anger

Frustration

And sadness

Will not help you here.

Put down those weapons

They will only cause you more pain.

 

Instead;

Choose acceptance,

Choose peace.

Find the strength

To surrender to this moment

Exactly as it is.”

 

Following this, we move on to ‘Light in her eyes.’ You can really feel the determination in the poems in this section to live a more positive life and move away from the darkness. Sometimes I find that when you get these positive quotes and sayings that they can feel quite fake or patronising, but these poems don’t feel any of those things. The positivity and determination feels real and raw, like it’s come from a place of real hard work to move forward to that place. Through the poems you can learn how Sarah fought against those dark thoughts and how she continues to fight to live in a more positive place. I really liked the poems in this section, as they made me feel really inspired. I particularly like the poem ‘Believe:’

 

“I don’t know why I am where I am,

Maybe there is no reason or plan.

But I choose to believe

I’m where I’m supposed to be,

Because that is the thought

That sets me free.”

 

At the end of the book are a couple of pages under the heading ‘Helpful Things.’ These aren’t poems but are instead some information that Sarah hopes other chronically ill people may find helpful. She shares a variety of treatments, management techniques and resources that have helped her in her chronic illness journey to living a better quality of life. Whilst unsolicited advice is usually something people in the chronic illness community step away from, it’s interesting to hear what other chronically ill people have found helpful, especially when your illness has no cure or real treatment options.

 

Overall, I’m so glad Sarah sent me her book to review. I found it genuinely inspirational, comforting and relatable. I don’t think you need to be chronically ill to enjoy Sarah’s book either, as I believe the poems could relate to all kinds of situations, not just illness. If you’d like to support a chronically ill writer, you can buy Sarah’s book on Amazon and she is also selling signed copies on Etsy.

 

Have you read Sarah’s poetry book? I’d love to hear what your thought on it are?

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Recent Reads

I spoke in my last ‘Recent Reads’ post about the fact I am trying to read more books this year, as part of my Goals for 2019. I feel like my progress has slowed a little bit, partly due to my health not playing ball, but also because I feel like I’ve got distracted by other things. But I think the good thing about goals are, that you can keep refreshing and re-starting them whatever the time of year. So, I’m trying once again to make more of a conscious effort to set aside more time for reading, rather than scrolling aimlessly on my phone and watching another episode of The Simpsons! Despite my progress slowing down a bit, I have still got through quite a few books in the last few months, so I thought I would do another ‘Recent Reads’ post to tell you all about the books I have managed to read. 

How to Fall in Love by Cecelia Ahern

I have loved Cecelia Ahern’s books ever since I read her first novel, P.S. I Love You (if you haven’t read it, I would wholly recommend giving it a read!) So every time I see her release another book, I’m usually pretty quick to add it to my collection to read, as she is yet to write something that I haven’t enjoyed. How to Fall in Love actually came out in 2014, so it’s taken me a while to get round to reading this one (I blame having too many books on my bookshelf!) but I’m happy to report that I thought this was just as good as her other novels.

This book is about Christine Rose, who is crossing the Ha’penny Bridge in Dublin (all of Cecelia Ahern’s books are set in Ireland) late one night when she sees a stranger, Adam, poised to jump. Like any normal person, Christine is concerned and wants to help, so she ends up managing to talk him into a reckless deal: if he gives her two weeks – until his 35^th birthday – she will prove that life is worth living. The story follows the two characters through the next two weeks, as Christine discovers that what she has promised is perhaps not as easy as she first thought. 

As someone that tries to raise awareness of mental illness, I loved the fact that this book centred on exploring mental health and suicide. It’s a very difficult topic to get right, but from my perspective, I felt that Cecelia Ahern did a really good job. Trying to convince a suicidal person to live is a huge task, especially for one person, and I think that came across well throughout the book – she doesn’t make it seem easy and I liked the fact she detailed the ups and downs of mental illness, and how someone can seem to be doing better when in actual fact they are still struggling just as much. I also think it’s good that Cecelia Ahern chose Adam to be the person struggling with his mental health, as so often, it’s women’s mental health that is focused upon, whereas this raises the profile of mental health and suicide in men. Overall, I would definitely recommend giving this a read if you’re looking for a new book to get stuck into, especially if you’re a fan of Cecelia Ahern’s other books.

I Stop Somewhere by T.E. Carter

I don’t actually remember ever buying this book or having received it as a gift, so I’m not 100% sure how it ended up on my bookshelf! I want to start by saying that this was a difficult read, mainly due to the topics and themes in the story. It is about a young girl called Ellie Frias, who has never wanted to be popular – she just wants to blend in and to be accepted. But then Caleb Breward changes everything. He tells her she’s beautiful and makes her believe it. Ellie loves Caleb, but she’s not always sure that she likes him – as they say though; love is blind. But one night, Ellie discovers the monster her boyfriend really is. Ellie wasn’t the first girl Caleb raped, but she was the first he murdered.

The story is told in a mixture of flashbacks to when Ellie was alive and through Ellie’s eyes now that she is dead. She witnesses Caleb shatter the lives of other girls again and again, all the time waiting, hoping, that one day, someone will find her and uncover the secrets buried with her. You can tell from the blurb that it’s not going to be an easy book to read and I did struggle to keep going with it at points. I definitely had to be in the right frame of mind to sit down and read it, so I wouldn’t say it’s one of those books you can just pick up and put down whenever you fancy getting lost in a story. 

I thought the writing was very powerful and it does raise awareness of sexual violence with great empathy. Some parts felt a bit repetitive whilst others felt quite rushed, but overall it was an extremely emotive book to read. For anyone thinking about reading this book, I would definitely include a trigger warning though, as some of the content can be quite graphic and disturbing. 

After You by JoJo Moyes

I picked up After You after enjoying the first book in the trilogy, Me Before You. I was a bit dubious about where the story could go, after feeling it had been fairly wrapped up in the first book, but somehow JoJo Moyes managed to find a fork in the road that allowed the story to continue. This book demonstrates that when one story ends, another begins. It continues to focus on Lou Clark (who you will remember from the first book as one of the central characters). She has a lot of questions. Like how she’s ended up working in an airport bar, or why the flat she has owned for a year still doesn’t feel like home. But she does know that something has to change. And then, one night, it does. A stranger turns up on her doorstep, but Lou isn’t sure whether they hold answers to her questions or if they just bring more questions with them. She could close the door and continue her simple, ordered, safe life. Or she could open it and risk everything. 

It had been a while since I’d read Me Before You, so I was a bit worried that I would have forgotten about everything that happened. But luckily this book had lots of little ‘prompts’ that reminded me of things I thought I had forgotten, so I found it very easy to pick back up again. I had found the first book quite compelling, being someone that has a disability and able to relate to some of the things Will was feeling. And I felt that this book helped me to get to know Lou Clark a bit better and to understand her more as a separate person to Will. It was interesting to see where her life went after the turbulent time she had throughout the first book. I’m now looking forward to reading the final book in the trilogy – Still Me.

Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon

I remember winning this book in a competition with Mind. I’d never really heard anything about it before, but when I saw that it was about someone’s journey with mental illness, I’ll admit I was a bit concerned that I might find it a difficult read. On the contrary – it was brilliant! Bryony Gordon - a hugely successful columnist for the Telegraph, a bestselling author, and a happily married mother of an adorable daughter, writes the book. Bryony has OCD. It’s the snake in her brain that has told her ever since she was a teenager that her world is about to come crashing down. It’s caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. But it got to a point where Bryony became fed up of keeping silent about her illness, and so she decided to share her story. 

I honestly couldn’t put this book down! There were parts that had me in fits of laughter and parts that nearly made me cry. It is written with such honesty and openness, and really gets across just how all-encompassing mental illness can be. I found myself nodding along to so much of it because I could relate to what Bryony had been through and, in some cases, it was the first time I had heard of any one else having the same thoughts and feelings that I’ve had. It was strangely comforting to hear someone else talk about such terrible and frightening thoughts because it helped me to realise that I’m not completely mad (or if I am, then at least it’s not just me!) 

Reading this book also brought me huge amounts of hope. Bryony’s 20’s were not good – nothing really went right for her and she often felt like things were completely hopeless. But in her 30’s, things started to turn around. She met her now husband and had a beautiful daughter. Obviously we are all different and have different paths, but just hearing that things can get better, even if they have been awful for so long, gave me hope that the same could happen to me. 

Wilde Like Me by Louise Pentland

I can’t believe it took me so long to get round to reading Louise Pentland’s first book, Wilde Like Me. I’m a big fan of Louise’s and have watched her channel/read her blog since pretty near the beginning. So when I knew she was bringing out a book, I knew it would be something I would want to read. I even pre-ordered it so I could get my hands on a signed copy! But for some reason it then sat on my bookshelf for way too long before I got round to reading it. And I only wish I had started earlier!

The book is about a lady called Robin Wilde, who is a single Mum to Lyla. She’s great at her job and has a best friend and Auntie who love her to bits. From the outside, everything looks great. But Robin has a secret. Behind the mask, things can often feel grey and lonely. She struggles to fit in with the other school mums, finds online dating despair inducing and worries about being able to give Lyla the very best. But after four years (and two months and twenty four days) of single-mum-dom, Robin realises it’s time to get out there and change her life. Exciting new opportunities are soon on the horizon, and the story follows Robin as she decides whether to seize the possibilities she creates for herself and finds out what surprises her life has in store for her. 

I found this such an easy read, which is just what I was looking for. I didn’t have to concentrate too hard and could just get lost in Robin’s world for a while. It was such a feel-good book and I loved following Robin as she branched out and found some inner confidence to start making things happen. Every time I closed the book (which wasn’t easy to do because I kept wanting to read on!) I just came away feeling uplifted and happy – just what I need in a book! Now that I’ve read this book, I’m excited to move on to the next two Wilde books in the trilogy!

And there we have it – my recent reads for you this time round! I hope you’ve enjoyed hearing my reviews of these books and that it’s given you some inspiration of what to read next if you’re struggling to decide. If there are any books you think I might enjoy, please do let me know, as I’m always looking for new things to read (even if my bookshelf is overflowing!)

What have you been reading recently? Have you read any of the books in this post, or will you be reading any now that you’ve read about them?

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Recent Reads

 If you read my post about my Goals for 2019, then you’ll know that this year, I’m hoping to read a lot more. So I thought it would be quite nice to talk you through books that I’ve read, a few at a time, in case you’re looking for something new to read. I always think it’s quite nice to be recommended a book by someone else – it’s how I discover a lot of the books I read. Although I’ve called this post ‘Recent Reads’ I will admit that some of these books were read quite a few months ago, before I started on my goal of reading more! But hopefully you will still enjoy hearing a bit about them.

Things Get Better by Katie Piper

I’m a massive Katie Piper fan and have read a couple of her books before, so when this one popped up in my Amazon recommendations it made its way straight to my basket! It wasn’t actually what I was expecting, as I assumed it would be the next part of her story, following on from Beautiful and Beautiful Ever After. But with this book, Katie reflects on each stage of her recovery to help people feel like they’re not alone. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to relate to her experiences, but although she discusses how each stage relates to her own recovery, I found it very easy to apply my own experiences to what she was saying.

Katie discusses a whole range of emotions and situations including hitting rock bottom, counting your blessings, facing your fears, forgiveness, goal setting and dealing with setbacks. I could really relate my own problems with mental and physical health to the things she was saying in the book, and I liked the fact there are practical tips of things I could do to help myself depending on my stage of recovery. 

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and loved the way it is presented, as it makes it easy to dip in and out of. Unlike some self-help books, I didn’t find it at all patronising (probably because it is so personal to what Katie has been through, so I really felt like she understood) and I definitely picked up some good advice for getting through difficult times.

Billy and Me by Giovanna Fletcher

I’ll be completely honest and admit to the fact I had never really given Giovanna Fletcher much thought as an author before reading this book. I’d been watching and really enjoying her YouTube videos for quite a while, but for some reason it had never occurred to me that she might be a good writer. So when I saw this book in WHSmith as part of Zoella’s Book Club back in 2016, I read the blurb on the back and decided to pick it up. Now I’m only wishing I picked up one of her books sooner!

Billy and Me is a classic love story and perfect for if you want an easy to read book that will take you away from the stresses of day-to-day life. It’s about Sophie May, who works in a teashop in her little village and lives at home with her Mum. She gave up her dreams of going to university and travelling the world because of a secret she’s kept for years. But then Billy comes along – an ambitious actor who Sophie falls in love with. Her world is turned upside down as Billy whisks her away from the comfort of her quiet life and into the spotlight. 

The story follows Sophie and Billy’s blossoming relationship, but also looks at the secret that has kept Sophie stuck in her small town for so long. This was a book that I just couldn’t put down – just when you thought one thing was happening, something else would change things and another twist would make me keep on reading. I became really quite invested in the two main characters and desperately wanted to see them both happy together! After enjoying this book so much, I definitely now plan to read some other books by Giovanna Fletcher.

Room by Emma Donoghue

I love a good drama, whether it’s on the TV, in the cinema or in a book, so when my friend sent me this book as a present, I was excited to get stuck in. I had heard a lot of talk about the story, as it has also been made into a film (which I’m yet to see – I prefer to read a book before seeing the film adaptation) and from what I’d heard it sounded good.

The story is written from the perspective of Jack, aged five, who lives in a single, locked room with his Ma. I won’t lie; it took me a while to get into this book and to get my head around the writing style. As it’s written from the point of view of a five year old, the sentences can be a bit choppy and confusing, but once I’d got used to this style I found I started getting into the actual story a bit more. I did find the style of the book a little bit strange; as some of the speech felt a lot younger than most five year olds I’ve met, especially as his only role model is his Mother, who speaks perfectly normally.

Although I enjoyed the idea of the book, I do feel like it could have been a lot more gripping and interesting. I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but I just felt like the ‘climax’ of the story was actually a bit of a disappointment. As it was building up, I had all these hopes of what the story might hold, and I just wonder whether these could have been developed more than they were. I also felt like the second part of the book had stories in it that could have been explored in much more depth, and felt I had a lot of questions that weren’t really answered. I will be really interested to watch the film now and see how they’ve adapted it from the book.

My Beautiful Struggle by Jordan Bone

This is a book I had wanted to read for ages, as I’m a big fan of Jordan’s YouTube videos and attitude towards her disability. So when my blogging friend, Sophie, posted it on her Instagram Stories asking if anyone would like her finished copy, I quickly sent her a message. I was aware of the basics of Jordan’s story, but found reading her book gave me a much more in-depth knowledge of her accident and how it has affected her. Although I don’t have the same disability as her, I felt I was able to relate to a lot of what she wrote – the stages of getting your head round a life changing disability or illness, those initial bleak days of not knowing how you will continue and then moving forward and learning to live a life with your new restrictions. It was nice to feel like I wasn’t alone in some of the things I experience.

I really like how, in this book, Jordan relates parts of her journey to applying different types of make-up. It definitely helped the story to flow in an interesting way that I haven’t seen in other books before. And although the book addresses some really dark times in Jordan’s life, the relation to make-up just emphasises how she has turned her difficulties into something positive. I would always feel really uplifted and motivated after reading each chapter and was sad to get to the end. As someone with a disability, it’s so nice to find others that I can relate to and look up to, to bring something positive to my own life. And Jordan is definitely one of those people.

The Beach Café by Lucy Diamond

This is another of those easy-to-read, cosy, uplifting stories that just make you feel good inside. It follows the story of Evie, who has always been the black sheep of her family. She feels stuck in a life she isn’t enjoying with a boyfriend that just isn’t really ‘her’ anymore. But then her aunt Jo dies suddenly and leaves Evie her beloved beach café in Cornwall. It’s the opportunity that Evie needed – she leaves her old life behind and sets off for Cornwall to get the café, and her life, back on track.

Cornwall is somewhere I have only visited once briefly, but somewhere I am dying to see more of, so I absolutely loved reading through these pages and feeling like I was right there, in this cute little café looking out onto the beach. It’s your typical romantic novel, but as far as I’m concerned you can’t beat a good romance. I really liked Evie and could relate to her feelings of being lost in life and not knowing how to move forwards. So I think I became quite invested in her new venture of building the café back up again and finding love at the same time. There were a few twists and turns that added a bit more excitement and interest to the book, but overall it was just a nice book to snuggle down in the evening with (or take on holiday to read by the pool, if you’re lucky enough to be doing that!)

Christmas at Little Beach Street Bakery by Jenny Colgan

Jenny Colgan is fast becoming one of my favourite authors. I’ve already read her books about Rosie Hopkins and have a few others on my shelf that I’m waiting to read. This particular one was my Christmas read for 2018 and it was just what I want from a Christmas book – cosy, warm and heart warming. It’s about Polly Waterford who runs the Little Beach Street bakery in the Cornish coastal village of Mount Polbearne (can you tell I have a bit of a thing about Cornwall?!) She lives in an old lighthouse with her boyfriend, Huckle, and their adopted pet Puffin, Neil. 

This book visits Polly, Huckle and Neil in the lead up to Christmas, when Polly’s best friend Kerensa discloses a secret that could damage Polly and Huckle’s relationship forever. At the same time, a face from the past reappears and things for Polly become even more complicated. The story follows Polly trying to navigate these new obstacles and try to get things back on track so that everyone has a merry Christmas. For me, this was a lot more than just a simple romance story. There are secrets, betrayals and unexpected surprises along the way, as well as a lot of humour in the form of Neil the Puffin, all of which made it a really lovely book to relax with as the chaos of Christmas set in.

And that’s all my recent reads for you this time! I’m hoping to make this an on going series, so as I read a few more books, I can tell you about them each time and hopefully give you some inspiration for new reading material. If there are any books that you think I might enjoy, please do let me know, as I’m always looking for new things to read.     

What have you been reading recently? Have you read any of the books in this post, or will you be reading any now that you’ve read about them?

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