As Lockdown eases, please remember those of us who continue to live in Lockdown

The last few weeks have seen pretty huge changes in the UK as lockdown measures have started to ease. More children are back at school, more people are going into work, non-essential shops are re-opening, you can enjoy a drink at the pub or go to get your hair cut and people are now allowed to visit zoos, the seaside, their family. You could be forgiven for thinking life is going back to ‘normal’ (although we are far from normal yet with the virus still spreading). But not everyone is escaping the lockdown restrictions. There are a group of people for whom lockdown will continue long after we get on top of this virus – those who live with disabilities and/or chronic illnesses. 

For us, lockdown didn’t start on the 23^rd March 2020. Some of us have been living in lockdown for months or even years already. My ‘lockdown’ began at the age of 15, when I became really unwell with what we originally thought was ‘just’ M.E. Over the years though, the M.E. diagnosis has been added to and I now know that I also have a whole collection of chronic illnesses including Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Gastroparesis, Bladder Dysfunction, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome and a few more problems thrown in for good measure. I’ve spent much of my life unable to leave the house (and sometimes even unable to leave my bed). I’m ‘lucky’ at the moment – if I need to, I can leave the house for a medical appointment or the odd ‘nice’ thing. But I’ve been through many a period where even getting to an essential medical appointment has been impossible. And I have friends who have spent years trapped in their homes because they’re simply too unwell to even get down the stairs. 

 

When lockdown was first implemented, there were a lot of conversations on social media about how awful it was going to be to have to stay at home for the majority of the time, or to even have to self-isolate completely for two weeks if there was a possibility of having the virus. People spoke about how upset they were that their plans had been cancelled, they were worried about their jobs, holidays weren’t going to happen and people were concerned that there was no end date in sight. These are all completely valid concerns for anyone to have. But I know to begin with, a lot people in the chronic illness and disability communities (myself included), found these conversations really hard to hear. We have spent large chunks of our lives being hidden away from the world, forgotten because we are behind closed doors. We have had to grieve for the lives we have lost, the careers that have been abruptly ended, the plans that may never be able to happen. This is our reality. So to hear everyone suddenly discussing how awful it was going to be, when we have been dealing with it alone for so many years, was really hard to get your head around. 

But as time went on, things changed a bit. The world started to become a bit more accessible. Working from home and in a flexible way became the norm. People started utilising facilities for virtual meetings. Friends used video calls to keep in touch. Suddenly virtual parties and quizzes became the way people chose to socialise. Attractions quickly started to provide online content so they could still be experienced without having to go there in person. It was soon possible to watch a West End musical or play from the comfort of your own home. Medical appointments were offered via video call, rather than having to travel miles to be seen in person. Communities came together to ensure those who couldn’t leave the house were given food deliveries, medication and phone calls to check they were OK. Articles were written and videos were made about how to support each other while we had to stay at home. 

 

The world actually started to care about people who couldn’t leave the house because it was something that was affecting healthy, non-disabled people. Accessibility options and adaptations that the disabled and chronic illness communities have been fighting for for years were brought in overnight. After spending years being told we couldn’t work from home or that we would have to miss out if we couldn’t get somewhere in person, these things quickly became possible when the rest of the world realised they didn’t want to lose out. And to be totally honest, it really hurt to see how easily these measures could be put in place if people just tried. 

It’s hard to talk about positives related to the Coronavirus, because so much pain and suffering has come from it. But one positive thing the virus and the resulting lockdown have brought is that they have opened peoples’ eyes to the lives of those with disabilities and chronic illnesses. It’s something that Miranda Hart has spoken so eloquently about recently, both on Twitter and on Instagram. The last few months have given non-disabled people a rare insight into what it’s like to have a disability or chronic illness. Of course, it’s not the same. Although there’s uncertainty, there is the prospect of an end date one day with lockdown/the virus, which those with chronic illnesses and disabilities don’t have. But non-disabled people have, often for the first time, experienced how an illness can bring your whole world crashing down around you. They’ve experienced the grief of looked-forward-to plans being cancelled. The fear of seeing an illness, which is out of your control, impact on your ability to earn money and have a career. They’ve seen how hard it is to have to stay at home for most of the time, not able to go to work, to the shops, to socialise with friends or to even get medical care.

Of course, I wouldn’t wish these things on anyone and I certainly wouldn’t have wished for a global pandemic to make these things a reality for everyone. But that’s what’s happened, and I think it’s important that we as a society learn things from our experiences so we can make the world a better place for everyone. Over the course of lockdown, I’ve had people tell me that they had no idea being housebound was so hard. People have said that they didn’t realise until recently the grief that comes when an illness destroys every single part of your life. There have been conversations on social media about what it must be like to be housebound all the time. People have expressed how great all these new accessible measures are. But those conversations are already dwindling. 

 

Life is getting back to some sort of normality and people are already forgetting their experiences of being housebound. Working from home is becoming less straightforward and the expectation to be back there in person has returned. People aren’t so interested in video calls and virtual groups because they can meet people in person again. Attractions have stopped making virtual content accessible. Those who can’t leave the house are now expected to try and fight for online food deliveries and the phone has stopped ringing with people checking you’re coping OK at home. Most people are getting back to ‘normal’ and are leaving those with disabilities and chronic illnesses behind again. Now that the problem of being housebound isn’t affecting the majority, the drive for non-disabled people to fight for accessibility just isn’t there any more. And we desperately need healthy, non-disabled people to be fighting our corner and being an ally too. 

There is so much that the world could learn from the last few months that would really help those with disabilities and chronic illnesses. So if you’re reading this and wondering what you can do to help us and make the world more accessible, I thought I would list just a few things that you can do to become an ally to disabled and chronically ill people:

 

·      If you own a company or work in any kind of management role, look into ways that you can help to make working flexible. Obviously some roles don’t lend themselves to working from home, but you could also look at flexible hours or the option to work part-time. And there are many jobs that can be done from home, as the lockdown has shown us. Don’t automatically dismiss job candidates with disabilities or those who ask about adaptations. Talk to them and find out what would make it easier for them to work with you. We are disabled/chronically ill, but we also have so much to give if we are just given the right adaptations for our needs

·       If you have a friend or family member with a disability or chronic illness, please just remember them. I’ve lost count of the number of times someone has said to me, “Oh I didn’t invite you because I didn’t think you’d be able to come.” Please don’t make decisions for us. Invite us to social events and let us decide if we are well enough or if adaptations need to be made

·      If someone with a disability or chronic illness isn’t able to come out in person, look at ways you can adapt to still include them. Ask them if they’d like to chat on the phone or by video call. Is there a way they could get involved with something virtually? Could you perhaps organise some events, such as virtual quizzes or group video chats, that are accessible to them from the beginning? I think the biggest thing is just not to forget them just because they’re not there in person

·      If you work for an attraction (whether that’s a theme park, museum, zoo, gardens or anything else), try to continue with virtual content. Virtual tours or videos have allowed some disabled people to experience ‘going out’ for the first time, when ordinarily they would have no hope of being able to enjoy that attraction

·      Also look at ways the attraction can be made more accessible to those with disabilities/chronic illnesses that might be able to visit in person. Are there enough accessible toilets? Is information in an accessible format? Please actually speak to disabled people and get our views on accessibility measures, as we know what adaptations we need

·      If you work in the live entertainment industry (i.e. putting on musicals, plays, concerts and other live events) consider whether you can continue to provide video content that people can watch from home. During lockdown, some disabled people have been able to watch a West End Musical or enjoy a concert by their favourite musician/singer for the first time, and it’s been great! Accessibility can be a huge problem when it comes to live events and entertainment, so having the option to watch something from home, at a time that suits the individual, is invaluable. There’s no reason you can’t charge for this service either – I don’t think disabled people would expect to get this sort of content for free. So it’s another possible avenue for much-needed revenue, especially at the moment when entertainment venues are struggling so much, and makes live events inclusive for all

·      Although some disabled people may not be able to visit places like theatres or arenas, there are also a lot who can as long as the correct adaptations are in place. So please help disabled people to feel welcome by ensuring access is suitable for a whole range of needs (and again, please talk to us to find out what we actually need). For example, make sure the booking process is accessible, that there is enough accessible seating (both for those in wheelchairs and those who may not be able to walk far/climb stairs), that there are accessible toilets and that programmes are available in different formats

·      It would help a lot of people with disabilities and chronic illnesses if the NHS could continue to make greater use of virtual medical appointments. Obviously these aren’t suitable for all appointments – we will still need to visit hospitals for tests, treatments and appointments that require us to be examined or seen in person. And sometimes I quite appreciate being able to see a Doctor in person. But for a lot of appointments, talking on the phone or by video call would be absolutely fine. Virtual appointments would save us having to use limited energy to travel long distances, would mean we could save money on travel costs and parking and would also mean that those who are too unwell to leave the house can still access the medical care they so desperately need

·      I think it would be great if we continued to be more aware of those in our local community who might be housebound or who find it difficult to leave the house. In our community a series of Facebook groups have been set up so that those shielding could ask for help if they needed it. I would love to see these groups continue to be used once lockdown has eased, to try and continue to help those who might need it. But more than that, we need to be checking on our neighbours because not everyone will have social media. If everyone checked on the neighbours around them, then no one would have to face the world alone. So why not drop a note through your neighbours’ doors to let them know your details if they need anything. Get to know the people who live around you – sometimes disabled and chronically ill people may not need any practical help, but would just love some social contact

·      And in the wider society, it would be great to see a bit more focus on those with disabilities and chronic illnesses. I’ve seen a lot more articles written by disabled and chronically ill people during the pandemic because the media realised we have something to contribute on this particular issue. But this inclusion needs to continue – our experiences matter. And we don’t just have to contribute to disability and health related topics – we have other talents and views on a whole range of other things too!

 

I think the biggest thing society can do to be an ally to people with disabilities and chronic illnesses though, is to listen to us, include us and remember we exist. Please, if you take one thing away from lockdown, let it be an increased awareness of what it is like to live with a disability or chronic illness. This period of time has given everyone a unique insight, albeit only a brief glimpse, of what it is like to have restrictions placed on your life by uncontrollable health circumstances. You have experienced the fear and anxiety that comes from a medical condition, the grief that comes from having your plans cancelled and having no control over when you might be able to do things again and the overwhelming loneliness and isolation that comes from staying in your home for months on end.

So please, don’t forget how these experiences made you feel because that is just a tiny taster of what it can be like living with a disability or chronic illness. Use your increased knowledge to reach out to family and friends with disabilities and chronic illnesses. Find ways to do what you can to make the world more inclusive and accessible. Join disabled people in fighting for equality and respect. And above all, please, just don’t forget that there will still be many people living in lockdown when you go back to your normal life. 

Has lockdown helped you to understand a bit more of what it can be like living with a disability or chronic illness? Or as a disabled/chronically ill person, have you noticed any positive or negative changes as lockdown restrictions are being eased?

 

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Coping with being Housebound

It’s been quite a while since I last updated my blog. I don’t really have any excuses – I thought I would have more time to do things at the moment, but for some reason I’m finding I seem to be getting less done. It’s frustrating because I have so many blog post ideas and things I want to share with you here, but my body would rather just sleep instead! However, by some miracle I’ve finally managed to get a blog post written! 

I thought today, I would share with you some ways to cope with being housebound. On the 23^rd March, we were told to ‘Stay at Home’ and to only leave the house for a few specific reasons. As well as this general guidance, those with certain medical conditions received letters telling them to shield themselves (i.e. not to leave the house at all) for at least twelve weeks. And alongside those that received letters to shield, there are thousands more who are having to isolate, either because they have symptoms of the virus, or because they have other health conditions that aren’t on the shielding list but that still put them in a vulnerable position. That’s a lot of people having to stay at home – many of who are probably used to going out every day. 

Although I didn’t receive a shielding letter, I have chosen to isolate as much as possible because I have complex chronic health problems and know how vulnerable I am to a simple cold or virus. But being housebound isn’t a new thing for me. In fact, I’ve spent over half my life ‘training’ for this moment! I became ill at the age of 15 and was originally diagnosed with M.E/CFS. Years later, I finally received the diagnoses of Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Gastroparesis, Intestinal Dysmotility, Bladder Dysfunction, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, Asthma and a few other random things. 

Since the age of 15, I have spent a lot of my time being either completely housebound, or only able to leave the house for medical appointments and the odd ‘nice’ thing. It can be a pretty tough and lonely existence, especially when there’s no end in sight of it ever getting any better. Over the years, I think I’ve learnt to adapt to some extent, and although I wouldn’t say it gets any easier, you develop coping strategies and your focus changes to allow you to manage a life that you could never have imagined living. 

Obviously this lockdown isn’t quite the same. The vast majority of people having to stay at home aren’t doing so because they’re too unwell to leave the house (although some are). This in itself opens up possibilities that aren’t available to people with chronic illnesses. But I do think people are getting a glimpse into what life can be like with a chronic illness. The isolation, the disappointment of seeing plans cancelled, the uncertainty over money and careers and not knowing when it will all end. It’s difficult for anyone to know how to cope with. So I thought I would share a few things that have helped me over the years of being housebound, in the hope they may help other people to cope too (both during lockdown and beyond). These tips are likely to vary in usefulness depending on your level of health and why you’re isolating (i.e. if you’ve got symptoms or a chronic illness, you may not feel well enough to do all of these, whereas if you feel well in yourself, you may find more of these helpful). But hopefully there will be something for everyone here.

Stick to a routine

When I first became housebound, my routine went out of the window. I was sleeping a lot more, I was staying in my pyjamas all day and I wasn’t following regular mealtimes. This was partly down to being unwell, but also because I knew I wasn’t leaving the house, so I didn’t feel like it really mattered. But as time has progressed, I’ve realised just how important some sort of routine is for my mental health. Your routine is likely to have been flipped on its head with this lockdown. So it’s important to find a new routine that works for you. How strict and busy you make it is completely down to you, and if all it consists of is changing into some day pyjamas and making sure you eat regularly, then that’s fine. But it’s amazing how a bit of routine every day just helps to give you purpose and to keep you going.

Netflix Party

This tip is something I haven’t yet tried and that has only become available fairly recently. But if you enjoy watching films or programmes with friends and family that you’re not currently living with, this is a great way to still be able to do it. Netflix Party synchronizes video playback and adds a group chat to your favourite Netflix shows so you can watch them at the same time as friends and family, and talk about them as you watch. 

Group Video Calls

I’ve never really made use of video calls much before, let alone using group video calls! I’ve always found phone calls quite difficult with my anxiety, but since starting to use video calls, I’ve found I can cope with them a lot better (possibly because I find it easier to be able to see someone’s face when I’m talking to them). Now this is probably showing my level of technological understanding, but until this lockdown, I didn’t realise it was possible to have group video calls (I guess it’s just something I’ve never had to use!) But I’ve now been introduced to Zoom (and group chats on FaceTime) and am realising just how important they are in allowing us to keep up with our social contact. 

We have quite a big family, so it’s lovely to be able to have everyone chatting on one screen, and it also makes family birthdays during lockdown a little bit easier. I also run a mental health support group, which usually meets once a month. Obviously this has had to stop, but people still need mental health support, now more than ever. So I have been running weekly group meetings on Zoom, which has been great. I’d really recommend looking into group video calls if you haven’t already, as they are so useful for socialising with friends, family, work colleagues and support groups. 

Make a list of things you want to get done

So as I said, not all of these tips will apply to everyone, and this one in particular may not be useful if you’ve been housebound for a long time due to chronic illness, or if you’re housebound with symptoms of the virus. But if you’re at home at the moment and are feeling well, it might be helpful to make a list of all those jobs you’ve been meaning to get done for ages but have never had the time. Although I’ve been isolated for a number of years, I do have a little list on my phone of tasks I would like to achieve. It just gives me a focus and a reason to get up some days, but I don’t have a time limit on those jobs – it’s just a case of doing bits when I feel well enough. 

Although this is a great time to get things done around the house and garden, it’s also important to remember that you don’t have to be productive all the time. Our emotions and mental health are all over the place right now, so if all you feel like doing is binge-watching something on Netflix or Disney Plus, then that’s fine. Your ‘To Do’ list could include a mixture of productive tasks and things to do just for you (like reading, gaming, crafting or anything else). 

Do some crafting

This will depend very much on whether crafting is your kind of thing, so if it isn’t, then this tip isn’t for you! But if, like me, you enjoy doing crafts but never seem to have the time to do anything, perhaps try and make a bit of space in your day for getting back to what you enjoy. For example, I’ve been trying to put together a Project Life Scrapbook for the last few years, but just haven’t had the time to keep up with it. So while I haven’t got so many medical appointments and other commitments, I would really like to try and set aside a bit of time to just enjoy creating my scrapbook again. If you’ve never really done any crafts before but have always fancied giving something a go, now is as good a time as any to try something out! You don’t necessarily have to buy new materials. Ask around in your community to see if someone has any spare that they could give you. Or start with something as simple as colouring or painting – there are so many resources online to get you started with any craft project that takes your fancy.

Do a jigsaw

This is another one that will depend on what sorts of things you like doing, but if you haven’t done a puzzle since you were a child, why not give it a go? It’s surprising how good they are at distracting you from difficult thoughts, and before you know it, an hour has gone by and you’re still trying to fit the pieces together! I like the fact that, with a jigsaw, you don’t have to do the whole thing at once. You can keep coming back to it and just doing a few pieces at a time if that’s what works for you. There are so many different puzzles to try with all sorts of pictures and varying amounts of pieces. I am particularly fond of a Disney puzzle, but there really is something for everyone!

Make or find an upbeat Spotify playlist

I don’t know about you, but I find music can really help when I’m feeling down or anxious (and isolation and the current situation is enough to make anyone feel those things). Sometimes, if I’m really struggling, all I can find the energy to do is put on my favourite song and have a little sing (or dance!) along to it. So why not try putting your own playlist together? You could even have different playlists for different moods (because sometimes we all just need to wallow and cry, listening to sad songs). If you don’t fancy making your own, there are plenty to choose from on Spotify. One of my particular favourites at the moment is blogger, Beth Sandland’s, Social Distancing Kitchen Party Playlist. It’s full of throwback tunes that are sure to get you having a boogie in the middle of your kitchen!

Pamper yourself

I don’t think it should take a global pandemic for us to factor in a bit of self-care and pampering, but it’s a good opportunity to start if you don’t do it already. You might think because you’re at home all day that you don’t need to set aside specific times for relaxation and winding down, but it’s just as important to do it now than it was when you were out all day working and socialising. Setting aside time just for looking after yourself means you are telling your mind that you deserve those acts of self-care. How you pamper is up to you and what you enjoy most. You could use that face mask or bubble bath you’ve been saving for a special occasion, paint your nails, do some meditation, read a book or anything else that is ‘just for you’ and helps you to feel relaxed. 

Write some letters

Something that has helped me massively since becoming unwell (and therefore becoming a lot more isolated) is writing penpal letters. I started when I first became ill, as a charity I was put in touch with for young people with M.E. had a penpal scheme, and I’ve been writing to penpals ever since. When you’ve been at home for days, weeks or months on end, one of the highlights of your day becomes what the postman delivers through your letterbox! So instead of just getting bills or medical letters, it’s really nice to receive handwritten letters and cards from friends all around the world. These pieces of snail mail have honestly kept me going at some of the hardest times in my life. I found my penpals in all kinds of places – charities for people with the same conditions as me, Facebook support groups, Instagram and also friends that have moved away. But during this lockdown, why not start by just writing to people you know but can’t currently see in person?

Work on your blog and YouTube

Again, this one only works if you have a blog or YouTube channel (or would like to make one!) But one of the biggest reasons that I chose to start blogging was because of my chronic health problems. I have always enjoyed writing and being creative, but when I became ill they became so much more than just a hobby. They gave me an outlet to express my creativity when I struggled to do much else. They allowed me to communicate some of what I was going through, and they introduced me to a huge community of other content creators, which helped me feel a bit less alone. I’m not well enough to work a traditional 9-5 job, but having a blog and YouTube channel offer me something to help structure my days and give me a feeling of achievement. So if you’ve always fancied having a blog or making YouTube videos, why not give it a try?

Exercise your brain as well as your body

Throughout the lockdown so far, I have seen so much emphasis being put on exercise. And that’s great – it’s really important to keep your body moving as much as you can. For some, that will mean taking part in home workouts, going running or cycling or setting up a home gym. While for others, such as those with chronic illnesses, it may be as ‘simple’ as doing gentle stretches or basic physiotherapy exercises. There is no one size fits all, so don’t feel bad if your exercise doesn’t look like someone else’s. But as well as keeping your body moving, it’s also really helpful to keep exercising your brain while you’re housebound. I struggle with brain fog anyway, but definitely find my mind seems to stop working quite so well when I’m spending a lot of time at home. Like with exercise, keeping your mind working will also look very different for different people. Some may enjoy things like puzzles and crosswords, while others might play computer games, do colour-by-numbers or listen to audiobooks and podcasts. It’s about finding something that works for you and that you can manage.

Talk about your feelings

Being housebound, for whatever reason, is tough. If you’re chronically ill and/or disabled, those things bring their own complications and worries. Or if you’re usually healthy and are suddenly experiencing the need to isolate, you will probably be dealing with a whole range of different feelings. My biggest piece of advice would be to make sure you are talking about those feelings. That could be talking to the people you’re living with, talking to friends/family online, using virtual support groups or, if you feel you need a bit more than a friendly ear, getting in touch with your GP or a helpline like The Samaritans. There is no shame in finding things hard, so please don’t feel like you have to keep everything to yourself. I’ve learnt the hard way that bottling things up can end in disaster, so please just talk, talk and talk some more.

Look for ways to help others

The final thing that really helps me to cope with being housebound is looking for ways that I can help other people. I have always wanted a career that involves helping others – being a doctor, a play therapist, an Occupational Therapist or working in the police. And I find it really hard some days that I can’t do these things. Being stuck at home, too unwell to do the things I crave, can leave me feeling useless and worthless. And I can imagine, at the moment, that healthy people who have to stay at home may also feel some of these things for not being able to get out there and contribute as they usually would. But just because you’re not on the NHS frontline saving lives or a key worker keeping the country going, it doesn’t mean you can’t still help in some way. If you’re able to leave the house, why not volunteer for your local Covid response, helping to get shopping and medication for people that are shielding? Or if you’re shielding, you could offer to phone people who might be living alone, send postcards to a local nursing home or send a card to a seriously ill child through Postpals. No matter how big or how small, there are always ways to help other people, and doing things like this help my mental health bucket loads when I’m housebound. 

And there we have it – a few things you can do to help you cope with being housebound. I really hope there will be something here for everyone – whether you are housebound through chronic illness, disability or the current situation. I also hope this post shows you that you aren’t alone in what you’re going through either, and that it’s OK to reach out for help if you need it. 

Are you currently housebound or have you been in the past? Were any of these ideas helpful, or are there other things that helped you to cope?

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Self-isolation gives a small insight into the life of the chronically ill

It’s hard to do anything at the moment without hearing about the Coronavirus. Turn on the TV – there’s another news update; scroll through Twitter – every other tweet mentions COVID-19; or go to the supermarket and everyone is discussing panic buying and where all the pasta has gone. I don’t want to add to all this with another post directly about the virus, but I would like to talk about an indirect result. People are now being told to self-isolate for seven days if they begin to show symptoms and for a lot of chronically ill people, it has been quite difficult to see some of the responses to this. Self-isolation seems to be giving ordinarily healthy people a small insight into what life can be like for someone with a chronic illness or disability. 

Social isolation and being housebound is often part and parcel of having a chronic illness or disability. Obviously, everyone is affected differently by different illnesses, but a large number of chronically ill people will experience being unable to leave their house for months or even years on end. During my years of illness, I have been through periods of being housebound – too ill to even leave my house for medical appointments at times. And there are others who have it far worse – confined to their home, or even their bed, for year upon year with no end in sight. 

And it’s bloody hard; I’m not going to lie. Staring at the same four walls, only seeing close family (if you’re lucky to have them around) and having no idea how long this will go on for. Seeing the sun through your curtains but not being able to even go out in the garden to feel it on your face. Hearing people walking past your house, laughing and joking, and wondering when, or if, you will ever do that again. Seeing posts and photos on social media of friends going on days out, holidays or even just going to work, and feeling so far detached from the world outside your door. It gradually drains the hope from your body and leaves you wondering if you can carry on.

Over the last few days, I’ve seen so many people discuss how awful it will be to have to stay in your house for seven days and others talk about not knowing how they will cope with it. And I get it, I really do. If you’re healthy and have never had those kinds of restrictions put on you before, then I understand that it must feel horrible to suddenly have your freedom taken away from you. But that doesn’t stop me feeling upset and frustrated to see so many people complaining about a life that thousands of us have to live for years. 

Although the current situation is scary and worrying and that shouldn’t be dismissed, I do also feel that it’s important for us as a society to learn things from it. And a big part of me hopes that some people at least might realise what chronically ill and disabled people can go through on a daily basis. Being stuck inside, having to ask for help, your plans being cancelled, no contact with friends – all while dealing with the constant worry of illness. It isn’t just seven days isolation for a lot of people – there is no end date for many of us. We live every day trying to deal with complex health problems, as well as the grief and frustration that comes with missing out on things other people may take for granted, and having to cancel plans at the last minute. Going to the shops, meeting a friend, a day out, a holiday, your birthday, your wedding, a vital medical appointment. The list goes on.

The majority of people who have to self-isolate will hopefully recover within a couple of weeks and can go back to their daily lives. And as the pandemic reaches its peak and begins to slow down, lockdowns will end, events will be rescheduled, holidays rebooked and some form of ‘normality’ will resume. But those chronically ill people won’t be leaving their houses with everyone else. They will still be sick, held prisoner in their own homes. 

And I really just hope that, as people become well again, they will remember what it felt like to suddenly lose their freedom and be confined to the house. And that maybe, chronically ill and disabled people might be shown a little more empathy and understanding for having to go through this every day. There are so many ways you can show that you care about someone that’s housebound (either through self-isolation or chronic illness/disability), but just a few suggestions are:

·      Keep in touch with that loved one who is too ill to leave the house – send them a text, give them a call or, if they’re not contagious and feel up to it, ask if they would like a visitor

·      Ask someone if they need any shopping doing

·      Offer to pick up someone’s prescriptions for them

·      If you’re an employer, rather than discounting someone with a chronic illness or disability for a job, look at ways they could work remotely

·      Offer to lend them a book/game/DVD etc. to keep them entertained

·      If they can’t go clothes shopping but you’re going, why not take videos/pictures or even Face Time them while you’re out so they can shop through you

·      If someone has to cancel at the last minute because they’re not well enough, don’t get angry with them and understand how upset they will be as well

Seven days of isolation may seem a long time, but in the grand scheme of things it will fly by. If you’re not feeling too ill, why not use it as an opportunity to do all those jobs around the house you haven’t had time to do? Or have a movie marathon/binge-watch all those Netflix shows you’ve been waiting to watch. For the majority, before long, they will be back out of the house and those seven days will just be a memory. All I, and the chronic illness community, ask, is that you please remember those who can’t get back out there after seven days. The tweet above from Miranda Hart sums this all up really well.

Do you have experiencing of being housebound for a long period of time? Are you hoping more people might start to understand what it’s like for the disabled/chronically ill? 

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Cosy Club Basingstoke Opening - Press Event (AD Gifted)

*I was invited to The Cosy Club Basingstoke VIP Opening Night along with three guests and we were kindly gifted our food and drink for the evening. However, all views, as always, are entirely my own

Last October, I was very kindly invited along to the VIP Opening Night of The Cosy Club in Festival Place, Basingstoke. I had hoped to get this post up a lot earlier than this, but with going into hospital for major surgery soon after, my health ended up having to take priority. I did share some stories over on my Instagram, but I thought I’d do a little post on here as well, so I can talk to you about the evening in a bit more detail. 

When the invitation came through to my emails, I was also offered the opportunity to bring a few friends along too. So, on a fairly rainy Monday evening, my Mum and I went over to Basingstoke and met up with a couple of my blogging friends – Dawn from Dear Mummy Blog and Laura from Loopy Lou Laura. We’ve known each other for quite a few years now, after meeting at a local blogging event, so it’s always nice to see each other and have a catch-up when we can. 

We arrived a little bit early, so waited around outside and watched the hustle and bustle inside the restaurant. Other people started to arrive as well, and soon enough the doors were opened and we were greeted by a couple of lovely ladies in beautiful 1950’s style dresses. They showed us to our table, where we settled down and started having a look through the drinks menu. Being the opening night, it got very busy very quickly, but the staff seemed to have the organisation down to a tee and managed to get everyone in their seats in a matter of minutes. 

After ordering our drinks and being told we would be brought a selection of different foods to taste, we could get up and have a little look around the restaurant. The name ‘Cosy Club’ is certainly very apt, as despite it being quite a large area, every part of it feels warm and cosy. There are different types of seating arrangement depending on what you might fancy – from standard tables to cosy sofas, as well as higher tables with bar stools. 

The décor is quite eclectic with colourful soft furnishings, old paintings on the walls, bold patterned wallpapers and mixture of beautifully warm lights. There’s a long bar where all the drinks are prepared in front of you and 50’s music plays in the background. All of the staff were dressed for the occasion too, with the women in pretty dresses and the men in waistcoats and flat caps. We all said it felt like we were in some sort of 1950’s speakeasy – it was like being transported back in time. 

Our drinks were soon brought over – there had been plenty to choose from on the menu, whether you wanted something alcoholic or not. I went for a cherry-based mocktail, which was delicious (so good in fact, that I had to have another!) and the others had a St Clements, Virgin Mojito and a Cider. I don’t tend to drink much, so it was really nice to see a good range of soft drinks and mocktails to choose from, rather than just a Coke or Lemonade! 

As we started to sip our drinks, the food began to come out. With it being the opening night, the normal menu wasn’t running. Instead, each table were given a selection of different items to try between us from the Tapas menu, which was a really nice way for us to try a number of different dishes. I was really surprised by the amount of food that kept coming out – our table was soon overflowing with plates and bowls of different dishes! I’m not sure if I can remember all of the different foods we had but they included Garlic Mushrooms on Toasted Ciabatta, Roast Turmeric Cauliflower, Goat’s Cheese and Spinach Croquettes and a Cosy Scotch Egg. My personal favourites were the croquettes and the garlic mushrooms, although everything was delicious!

Looking at the full menu, there seems to be a really good range of options for both adults and children, so there should be something to suit every taste. They offer Brunch until 5pm (I’m eyeing up the pancakes!), a variety of sandwiches, burgers, sharers, larger main meals and, of course, some very tasty looking puddings (Hello Mini Cinnamon Doughnuts!) They also have a kids menu and fairly extensive vegan and gluten-free menus too. 

As well as the day-to-day service, Cosy Club’s also run a number of events. You can have a look at their ‘What’s On’ page to find out about all of the different events, but, for example, this month they are running special events for Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day and Pancake Day. They also offer live music some evenings as well, so it’s worth keeping an eye on your local Cosy Club to see what’s coming up.

Something I particularly liked about The Cosy Club was their ‘Free Teas for Those in Need’ scheme. It is run in partnership with Independent Age in a battle to end loneliness in every generation. They encourage those that need it to pop along to The Cosy Club for a free cup of tea every Wednesday between 10am-11am. They hope to inspire local people to come together and chat to new people. Their teams will also be on hand to have a chat, as well as offering cake, board games and somewhere comfortable to relax. As someone who raises awareness of mental health problems, as well as experiencing them (and loneliness) myself, I think it’s a great initiative to help anyone that’s feeling a bit lonely.

We had such a lovely evening catching up and trying out the new Cosy Club in Basingstoke that before we knew it, it was time for us to leave. On our way out, we were each given a Cosy Club mug with some Cosy Club purple socks to take home, which was a nice end to a brilliant evening. We enjoyed ourselves so much, that we were already excitedly chatting about when we could next go back to sample the full menu at The Cosy Club and what a great place it would be to host a South East Bloggers Circle meet-up! I’m really grateful to The Cosy Club for inviting me along to their VIP opening night at Festival Place and am looking forward to going back again as my leg gets better! If you’ve got a Cosy Club near where you live and haven’t already checked it out, I would definitely recommend getting a group together for an evening out – you’ll have to let me know what you think! 

Have you been to The Cosy Club before? Or do you think you’ll be going to your local one after reading this? 

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