Life update

Hi there!
If you're a regular reader you will have noticed that I haven't blogged for a while, and I thought I owed you an explanation for this. Unfortunately life has got a bit more difficult. Due to my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome I have a lot of problems with my digestive system, and these problems have been getting worse over the last few months. It got to the point where I wasn't keeping any food or fluids down, and I was feeling pretty awful if I'm honest.
We spoke to the Professor I see in London and he arranged for me to go up to London on Wednesday for some urgent tests. I had an oesophageal manometry, which is where they put a tube up your nose and down into your stomach that can measure pressure and other things in the oesophagus. They also attempted to do a gastric emptying study, but unfortunately because I kept being sick they couldn't do it, so I'm going to have it at a later date hopefully. 
The person carrying out these tests was my consultant, and when she saw how unwell I had got and how dehydrated I was, she contacted my local hospital to arrange for me to be admitted overnight for some IV fluids. The next day I went back up to London for am emergency appointment with the Professor. It turned out that the manometry showed that the sphincter at the top of my stomach, which is meant to close when you're not eating, keeps opening and so the contents of my stomach keeps coming back up my oesophagus, therefore making me feel incredibly sick. He wanted to try me on a medication called Baclofen, which is used in patients with M.S, but because I'm on a Beta Blocker for my POTS and my blood pressure is also quite low, we can't use that medication. So he's put me on a heavy duty anti-sickness called Ondansetron, which is apparently used for cancer patients when they are going through chemotherapy, so it's a pretty strong drug. I've also got to do some physio and breathing exercises for my stomach to try and help relax the sphincter, which in turn will encourage it to close and hopefully help with the sickness. I'm due to go back and see him in a month to talk about how I'm getting on and to hopefully start investigating why I get pain, bloating, early fullness and nausea/sickness when I try and eat.
The Ondansetron seems to be helping a bit - I'm managing to keep down a small amount of food without being sick, although I still do feel very sick and the pain etc. has come straight back. For now though, we're just focusing on getting what nutrition we can inside me and keeping me as stable as possible until I see the Professor in May. I've been pretty emotional if I'm honest - I've had these symptoms for over 11 years and I do just get incredibly tired of going through the same thing every day. Usually if something makes you feel unwell or causes you pain you would avoid it, but I can't avoid food and I find it very mentally exhausting having to try and eat every single day. But I'm trying to stay as positive as I can because otherwise I think I would just break down. I'm aiming to get myself back to college tomorrow morning because I've only got a month left and I think if I take time out now it will really affect my mental health. So for the next month I've jus got to push myself as hard as I can to finish my assignments and sit my exams, whilst attempting to get some nutrition in me and not dipping too much. Easier said than done!
So anyway, I thought I would just update you all with what's been going on. I've really missed blogging but it's going to be a while before I can get back to doing the amount of posts that I normally do, especially if I'm using up the little energy I have on college. I will still try and do some posts where I can, and I've set up my laptop so I don't have to sit up at my desk to write if I'm not feeling up to it. All I ask of you is that you bare with me over the next few months, while I try and focus a bit more on my health. Thank you xx

Follow me on Bloglovin, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+

Sunday Spotlight - 5th April 2015

In my life this week…

Cardiology appointment

On Tuesday this week my Dad took me to our local hospital, as I had an appointment with my Cardiologist. The first thing he did was to confirm the diagnosis of POTS that we had suspected before I had the Tilt Table test done. If you’ve not heard of POTS before, it’s something to do with the veins in your legs not pumping the blood to the upper part of your body enough, especially when you move positions from lying to sitting or sitting to standing. This results in me having a very fast heart rate (that seems to scare the hospital staff every time I have my pulse checked!) and I also get dizzy spells and have fainted a few times too if I’m not careful about standing up. He told me a few lifestyle changes I can try to make, like adding more salt to my diet, ensuring I drink lots of water and clenching my calves and hands before I stand up to help the blood flow better. However, these on their own don’t make a massive difference, so I’m going to be measured for some compression stockings (I’m going to look so cool!) and he’s also started me on a beta blocker to try and bring my heart rate down a bit. He did want to start me on Midodrine, but it can affect the functioning of the bladder, and because I am already in semi-retention he doesn’t want to make it worse, so we’re going to try some other things first. Unfortunately he also told us that he’s leaving, so I won’t be seeing him again, but I’m hoping my new consultant will be just as good.

Spring flowers

I really love this time of year, when all the new flowers start to blossom. Yesterday, my Mum, Dad and I went to a local National Trust place with the hope that I could take some photos of all the beautiful Spring flowers. Unfortunately when we arrived we realised that we’re a bit too early for most of our favourite flowers to bloom, so there were mainly just rows of empty flowerbeds! However, there were a lot of daffodils, so we made do with them and I managed to take a few nice photos. Funnily enough, our garden actually has more Spring flowers in it, so I might head out there to take some nice photos to share with you all.

Easter

Today is Easter Sunday and I decided to go along to Church with my Dad, wearing my Crown and Glory bunny ears of course! I don’t go to Church much any more, mainly because I’m so tired from a week of college that I struggle to get up in time, but also because I’m struggling a lot with my faith at the moment and I think I just need some time out to think about what it all means to me. However, it was nice to go with my Dad and listen to the story of Easter and the lovely hymns. There was even an Easter Egg hunt for the children at the end – sadly I was a bit too old for it, but I’m hoping the Easter bunny might visit me at some point today and leave me a treat or two.

What has grabbed your attention this week? I love hearing about people’s new discoveries and you may end up sharing something that makes it onto my list next week!

Follow me on Bloglovin, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+

My Happiness Project - April

At the end of last year I was given a book by a friend called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and after hearing about it online and then flicking through the book I was inspired to do my own Happiness Project. If you haven’t heard of the book, it is basically about a lady who was tired of feeling run down and miserable all the time, so she decided to do something about it. She started off on a project that would span an entire year. Every month was assigned a theme, and within these themes she came up with a selection of goals to help her reach the happiness theme of that particular month. It’s a really inspiring and thought-provoking book, so I would really recommend giving it a read if you ever get the chance.

So, I decided that I am also fed up of feeling sad all the time. Having depression makes life incredibly difficult and, whilst I know I can’t cure myself, I can be more proactive in my choices, which in turn could lead to an improved state of mind. Conducting my own Happiness Project seemed like the perfect thing to start, what with it being a new year and all that, so I started thinking about how I could do one for myself. I have decided to use the same monthly themes that are talked about in the book, because I feel I am able to come up with relevant goals for each of them, which are personal to me. Obviously no two happiness projects will be the same, because we all have individual challenges that cause us unhappiness and different things that make us feel happy. But I felt I could relate the themes to my own life and come up with a range of goals that cover all aspects of my life.

I thought I would make a series of posts, over the next year, so that you can experience my Happiness Project with me, and perhaps even join me and do a project of your own. I will do a post at the beginning of each month, detailing the monthly theme and the goals I am aiming towards, and then at the end of the month I will do a brief wrap-up about how I have got on over the last month and reflect on how the project is going.

So we are now in April, and the theme for this month is to ‘Lighten Up.’ My goals this month are as follows:

Write a gratitude journal at least once a week

I think it’s always important to be grateful for the things we have because, as bad or difficult as life can be, there is always something to be grateful for. For my birthday last year I was given a gratitude journal, which has been sitting on my desk looking pretty ever since. So I thought that, this month, I would start using it and try and write in it at least once a week. Once a day would be amazing, but I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself and end up failing, so I think once a week is a good compromise and obviously I can write in it more if I want to. I’m hoping it will help make me realise that there is a silver lining for every grey cloud and will hopefully help to improve my low mood.

Take a happy photo on my iPhone every day

Last year I actually did a challenge where I had to take a happy photo every day for 100 days, and I really enjoyed doing it. Even on my darkest day I managed to find something happy to photograph and it definitely helped me to find some good in every day. So, I thought I’d start doing it again and try to at least do it for the month of April, but hopefully continue with it in the long-term. I love taking photos anyway and sharing them on my Instagram, so this seemed like a perfect way to bring a bit of light into my life and other people’s lives. All too often we can be negative on social media, so I think it will be nice to encourage myself to post a happy photo every day. If you’d like to follow my happy photo challenge on Instagram I will be using the hashtags #JensHappyPhotos and #JensHappyProject

Watch a DVD at least once a fortnight

I love buying DVDs, but I never seem to get a chance to watch them, so they stay sitting on my shelf in their cellophane wrappers, which I think is such a shame. I always feel uplifted when I’ve watched a good film, especially if I sit down and watch it with other people, so I decided to set myself this challenge. Hopefully it will give me a bit of ‘me’ time to relax and chill out, as well as lifting my mood (depending on what I watch!). It will also be a good excuse to treat myself to move DVDs as I’ll actually be watching them and will need new things to watch! But saying that, my siblings have a lot of DVDs too, so it’s not like I will run out of choice any time soon!

So there we have it. Three different goals to work on this month, and I think that the majority of them are definitely achievable, although some of them are definitely dependent on how much time I have. I’m still planning to work on my goals from previous months, as the idea is that you are meant to carry your goals forward so at the end of the year you are practising everything you set out to do. For my cinema trip for this month I’m not quite sure what I want to see, so I will need to go and check out what’s on and see if anything appeals. I’m really enjoying taking part in this project and would love to hear if you’ve set yourself any goals this month. If you would like to join me in a Happiness Project and happen to take any photos as part of it, please use #JensHappyProject so I can check out what you’ve all been up to!

Have you read The Happiness Project? Do you have any resolutions you’ve made for this month?

Follow me on Bloglovin, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+

The Happiness Project - March Wrap Up

At the end of last year I was given a book by a friend called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and after hearing about it online and then flicking through the book I was inspired to do my own Happiness Project. If you haven’t heard of the book, it is basically about a lady who was tired of feeling run down and miserable all the time, so she decided to do something about it. She started off on a project that would span an entire year. Every month was assigned a theme, and within these themes she came up with a selection of goals to help her reach the happiness theme of that particular month. It’s a really inspiring and thought-provoking book, so I would really recommend giving it a read if you ever get the chance.

So, I decided that I am also fed up of feeling sad all the time. Having depression makes life incredibly difficult and, whilst I know I can’t cure myself, I can be more proactive in my choices, which in turn could lead to an improved state of mind. Conducting my own Happiness Project seemed like the perfect thing to start in 2015, so I started thinking about how I could do one for myself. I have decided to use the same monthly themes that are talked about in the book, because I feel I am able to come up with relevant goals for each of them, which are personal to me. Obviously no two happiness projects will be the same, because we all have individual challenges that cause us unhappiness and different things that make us feel happy. But I felt I could relate the themes to my own life and come up with a range of goals that cover all aspects of my life.

I thought I would make a series of posts, over the next year, so that you can experience my Happiness Project with me, and perhaps even join me and do a project of your own. I will do a post at the beginning of each month, detailing the monthly theme and the goals I am aiming towards, and then at the end of the month I will do a brief wrap-up about how I have got on over the last month and reflect on how the project is going.

So we have now come to the end of March and I thought I would have a quick chat to you about how I’ve got on with this months goals, which were as follows:

Film more YouTube videos

I think I’ve done fairly well with this goal over the last month and it’s something I really want to continue and build on. Before, I found I was filming quite a few videos but not getting them uploaded, so I’ve looked for ways that I can now get them uploaded without taking up much more of my time. So now, instead of sitting waiting for things to import/export/upload, I do those kinds of things overnight or leave them to run while I’m at college. This has resulted in me managing to get a bit more up-to-date with my uploads and I’m really enjoying adding to my channel a bit more. It’s definitely something I need to keep working at if I want my channel to take off.

Promote my blog

This is something I’ve not found so easy because I worry about annoying people if I post too much. But I’ve managed to find some groups I can promote blog posts in, as well as posting on my Facebook profile, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+ and Instagram. If anyone has any ideas of other ways I can promote my blog and increase my readers I’d love to hear them.

Ask for help

Now, this goal was probably the hardest one to achieve, but also probably the most important. I’m very good at convincing myself that I have to manage on my own, be it in my personal life, with college or anything else. So I really had to push myself to ask for help with things I’m struggling with. With regards to my mental health, I haven’t been that great at doing this, so I really need to work on that. But certainly at college I’ve tried to be really proactive in asking for help when I don’t understand the work, rather than struggling on and getting myself in a state. And it’s definitely helped me feel less stressed – why didn’t I do this sooner?!

Enjoy now

So I just said that the last goal was the hardest, but this definitely came a close second! I’ve really struggled to achieve this goal if I’m totally honest, but that’s not a massive surprise! I’ve always been the kind of person who will worry about what’s happened in the past and get anxious about what might happen in the future, so it’s really hard to let myself just enjoy the here and now. I’ve really tried to force myself to forget about the past and future, but unfortunately it hasn’t really worked. It’s obviously something I want to keep working on though, so I will definitely be keeping it at the front of my mind because I think this is key to feeling happier.

I’ve also had a go at keeping up with my other goals from previous months, which has been going fairly well, although I’m still yet to tidy out my wardrobe – I’ll get there one day! I did manage to go to the cinema twice in March though, firstly to see The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and then to see Cinderella, both of which were great.

So there we have it. Four different goals I’ve worked on this month. I’ve really enjoyed having some goals to focus my energy on and I’ve found doing it this way a lot more achievable than if I just set myself some general New Years resolutions. If you would like to take part in your own Happiness Project and happen to take any photos as part of it, please use #JensHappyProject so I can check out what you’ve all been up to!

Have you read The Happiness Project? Do you have any goals you’ve achieved this month?

Follow me on Bloglovin, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+

Easter Goodies from Lush

With Easter nearly upon us, I thought I would share some of the cute products that Lush has to offer this season. As always, they’ve outdone themselves on their cute ideas and I’m really looking forward to having an Easter themed bath full of Spring goodness.

I think my favourite product has got to be this cute bunch of carrots and the little white and pink bunny. But, of course, it wouldn’t be Easter without a few eggs and there are a few to choose from in this seasonal range. I’m particularly looking forward to using the gold glittery little egg – can you imagine what the bath will look like when I’m done?!

How will you be celebrating Easter this year? Have you bought anything from the Lush range?

Follow me on Bloglovin, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+