The past week has been
pretty hard going, as we’re all still getting our head around losing my Gran.
The house feels very quiet without her. We used to have carers coming in four
times a day, along with various nurses and the GP, so it feels very strange to
suddenly have none of that. We’ve been trying to focus on arranging her
funeral, which is now booked for the 7th December. It would have
been her 92nd birthday on the 5th, and with Christmas
coming up as well it’s just hard to feel motivated to do happy things. But I’m
just trying to get through one day at a time and making sure we all spend
family time together.
Last Sunday a friend I met
on the pain management course offered to take me out for lunch. If I’m totally
honest I was really tempted to cancel, as I’m finding just getting out of the
house quite a challenge at the moment. But I pushed myself to do it and it
turned out to be a good distraction. We had a good chat and enjoyed a Costa (I
had their mulled hot fruit drink and a blueberry muffin if you’re wondering)
and then had a little look round a great shop called Outfit, while we waited
for our lift. I found this gorgeous coat in Miss Selfridge, which was an amazing half price, but sadly
they didn’t have my size.
On Monday I somehow managed
to drag myself into Uni, as I knew we were having a preparation lesson for when
we go to the Crown Court next week. It was hard work trying to carry on as
normal and be sociable, but I know I need to keep pushing myself to do it. My
Dad met me at lunchtime and offered to take me out to try and take my mind off
things. We found a lovely little café in the Lion and Lamb yard, Farnham,
called Candy Twist. I had the most amazing soya hot chocolate (with cream,
marshmallows and a flake – oops!) and a croissant with Brie and cranberry –
very Christmassy. There are so many cute little places to eat in Farnham – I’m
looking forward to trying out more of them over the next few years.
Tuesday was relatively
quiet, although I had an appointment with my Urology nurse to have my catheter
changed, and had an ECG at the doctor’s surgery in the afternoon. But these
beautiful flowers arriving in the post, sent by my lovely friend Leanne,
brightened my day up. Our house really looks like a florist at the moment,
which is nice because my Gran loved flowers.
My Wednesday was fairly
busy – a lady came to see me in the morning to do some training with me for the
computer equipment I was given through my DSA. I was pretty shattered after
doing that all morning, so was pleased to then go and see my friend, Katy, for
a relaxing massage. My Mum and I popped into Waitrose on the way home, and she
treated me to these adorable Christmas cupcakes (I didn’t eat them both at the
same time!) The snowman is a vanilla sponge with coconut icing and the reindeer
is a chocolate sponge with salted caramel icing – yummy! They also do a Christmas
tree, which is a red velvet sponge, and a Christmas pudding, which I think is a
chocolate sponge.
On Thursday I decided to go
into Uni for a bit in the morning, but I felt so exhausted that I couldn’t
really concentrate. I had to leave mid-morning, as I had an emergency
appointment with my mental health care co-ordinator. My mental health has
really deteriorated recently, so I’m working with them to try and keep me out
of hospital. We had a good chat, and are going to see each other weekly to try
and keep me as stable as possible. I was pretty drained after our meeting, so
it was nice to come home to find my membership for EDS UK has been
renewed. I snuggled on the sofa with a fruity tea and some Percy Pigs.
Friday morning my Dad took
me over to the hospital for another session of my pain management course.
Unfortunately, there had been a bit of a mix up and neither of the facilitators
were there, so myself and the other group members sat and chatted for quite a
while until the psychologist arrived. I had decided not to go into university
in the afternoon, so my Dad just brought me home after the pain course. I spent
the afternoon writing a feature article for a Uni assessment, so I think I made
good use of my time. I then chilled out a bit and flicked through some of these
Christmas catalogues to try and get myself feeling a little bit Christmassy.
Yesterday I ended up
sleeping in until quite late, which definitely wasn’t planned but I obviously needed
it. I had a quiet morning; then in the afternoon my Mum took me to the Christmas
Market in our town. The weather forecast was meant to be terrible – torrential rain
and strong winds, but luckily the rain held off and although it was pretty
windy, it didn’t ruin the event. I wrapped myself up in a warm coat, mittens,
scarf and gloves and listened to my Mum sing some carols in the choir. The
Christmas lights were switched on, and Mum pushed me round some of the stalls
to see what was on offer. It’s always such a nice community atmosphere there,
and although I still feel very sad, it was nice to see people getting excited
about Christmas.
If you haven’t read my blog
before, I just wanted to let you know that I have a second blog, which mainly
focuses on my health in more depth than I talk about it here. It’s largely for
friends and family to follow and keep up with what’s going on, but if it’s
something you would be interested in reading as well, you are more than welcome
to follow me over there. It’s called Unicorns and Floral Crowns and you can
find it by clicking here. I haven’t updated it for a while, but I hope to
get into a routine soon. I’m also trying to post on Snapchat a bit more, so if
you fancy following me, my username is Jennycole44.
What have you been up to this week? I
always enjoy hearing about your news and adventures!
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