Things are still pretty
difficult and I’m having a lot of problems with my mental health unfortunately.
The weeks seem to be getting busier in the run-up to Christmas though, which
has its positives and negatives. It can be a good distraction from everything
else that’s going on, but it’s also incredibly draining when just getting out
of bed is a challenge in itself. But like I said last week, I’m just focussing
on getting myself through one day at a time – anything more than that is just
too overwhelming and anxiety provoking.
Last Sunday was pretty
boring, so I’ve decided not to include that photo this week. Monday was a bit
more exciting – my Dad took me over to Guildford to meet the rest of my Uni
friends at the Crown Court. We went to the Magistrates Court back in October
and saw some really interesting hearings. Unfortunately, the Crown Court wasn’t
very successful – there were a lot of problems with the case we were trying to
see, and in the end we saw very little, which was a real shame. I was so
exhausted after, so Dad took me home and I crashed out on the sofa and spent
the afternoon nursing an awful headache. I did treat myself to a couple of these chocolates though - best thing is they don't contain gluten.
Tuesday was an incredibly
draining day, but I did get to open my advent calendars – the one on the left I
made last year. My day started with an appointment with my Pain Management
Doctor. He told me I have a very worn disc in my lower back and also have one
in my neck, which are likely to be contributing to the pain I’m in. He also
believes I have toxic levels of serotonin in my body, which could have caused
the seizure I had. I’ve got to very gradually reduce my Tramadol (it’s also not
good for my gastroparesis) and he’s started me on Pregabalin to see if that
will help my pain – I just hope it helps! I’m also going to start having
special injections to help the pain. We then had to make our way to another
hospital so I could see my Pain Management Physio. We chatted for quite a while
about how things are going and we worked out a plan for the next few weeks.
Later in the afternoon my Mum, brother and I went to see my Gran in the Chapel
of Rest. It was incredibly emotional just seeing her lying there – I kept
expecting her to open her eyes and smile. I talked to her and said night night
– I’m still feeling very teary.
Wednesday was relatively
quiet. I had an appointment with my Rheumatologist in the morning, which went
OK. There’s not really much she can do for me at the moment unfortunately, but
it’s helpful to have someone to go through any developments with and she will
organise and scans/tests/referrals I need. She had a look at my hips, as
they’re causing me so much pain, but said that, despite doing my physio, my leg
muscles are still very weak, which is a bit disheartening. I spent the
afternoon snuggled on the sofa doing Uni work. This Crown and Glory December Glitterati box arrived and made me smile with all its glitter and sparkle.
Thursday was a relatively
boring day. I managed to get myself into Uni in the morning, and we recapped on
a few things we’ve learnt this term. I then had a catch-up with my Learning Mentor,
which was nice as we ended up just chatting about everyday life. In the
afternoon I went to see my mental health care co-ordinator – she’s keeping a
close eye on me at the moment due to having a bit of a crisis. We chatted a lot
and I tried to open up a bit and get some things off my chest. My friend,
Sarah, sent me this lovely postcard in the post, which really made me smile.
On Friday morning I had my
last session of the pain management course I’ve been doing. A pain nurse came
in to see us first and she chatted to us about medication. We then went through
the goals we set a few weeks ago to see how people are all getting on with
them. I’m really sad that it’s finishing, as I found it so invaluable and it
gave me a place to talk about things without feeling guilty. I didn’t have a
lecture in the afternoon, so Mum took me to Tesco and Marks and Spencer to have
a browse. They had this beautiful Christmas tree on the right outside the
shops, and then in Tesco I found this champagne tree, which I think is pretty
cool.
Yesterday was always going
to be a difficult day, as it would have been my Gran’s 92nd
Birthday. I was meant to be going to see a friend for the day, but didn’t want
my Mum to be left on her own, so we decided to do something with my brother and
his fiancé. We went to a local Costa Coffee for lunch, which was delicious,
especially my soya Black Forest Hot Chocolate! Mum and I then had a little look
round Next (Costa is inside Next) and I might have picked up another Christmas
jumper – oops. We had already bought my Gran cards before she passed away, so
we decided to write them and we also chose a sparkly basket of flowers, which I
know my Gran would have loved. Late afternoon, when my sister and Dad arrived
home, we found a card and purple crocus on the doorstep for me. It was from my
Facebook group for people in my local area who have mental health problems, and
I was incredibly touched that they thought of me.
If you haven’t read my blog
before, I just wanted to let you know that I have a second blog, which mainly
focuses on my health in more depth than I talk about it here. It’s largely for
friends and family to follow and keep up with what’s going on, but if it’s
something you would be interested in reading as well, you are more than welcome
to follow me over there. It’s called Unicorns and Floral Crowns and you can
find it by clicking here. I haven’t updated it for a while, but I hope to
get into a routine soon. I’m also trying to post on Snapchat a bit more, so if
you fancy following me, my username is Jennycole44.
What have you been up to this week? I
always enjoy hearing about your news and adventures!
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