I decided that, alongside the posts about the serious nature of
invisible illnesses, I wanted to include something a bit more lighthearted.
When you have a long-term/chronic illness it can be very easy to lose your
identity as a woman (or man) and almost become your illness. Instead of ‘Jenny’
you become known as ‘the ill one,’ or ‘the one with (INSERT ILLNESS).’ You can
lose track of what you as a person like or dislike, because every decision you
have to make is based on questions like ‘am I well enough?’ or ‘if I say yes to
this, I will have to say no to something else.’ Being ill is hard. I’m not
going to dress it up to be anything else. This is why it is so important to be
able to do things that make you feel pampered, special and just downright human
sometimes!
What you can do will be very dependent on your individual situation. For
someone who is completely bedbound, tube fed, catheterized and shut off from
everything life has to offer, it’s obviously not helpful to suggest a trip out
to the spa or a day out shopping. When a person is this unwell and isolated, a
treat may simply be hearing someone read out a letter, or a couple of pages
from a simple book. If you are able to stand light/sound/touch/smell, then it
can help to decorate your room with nice things you can look at from your bed.
Lava lamps and wind chimes are pretty and relaxing, and I think it’s always
nice to surround yourself with items that keep you linked to the outside world
in some way. Perhaps you could ask someone to stick cards from friends to your
walls, or a carer could bring in something from the garden. If you can tolerate
it, having a pet sitting on the bed with you can be very calming.
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| This is Sophie, severely unwell, but with her dog by her side |
For those who are able to tolerate slightly more, it can help to set
little goals to do something nice for yourself every day/week, depending what
you can manage. It doesn’t need to be something massive; simply filing or
painting your nails (or asking someone else to do it for you!), brushing your
hair or putting on some moisturiser can make you feel feminine and special.
Washing yourself can be particularly difficult when you’re not well.
Imagine back to the last time you can down with the flu, or a nasty virus. I’m
guessing you probably spent a few days in bed feeling pretty awful, and having
a bath or shower was the last thing on your mind. Now remember how horrible it
feels to not have washed for a few days. People with chronic and invisible
illnesses may have to go weeks, months and even years without being able to
have a bath or shower. There are ways to get around this though, which can help
you feel a bit fresher. A carer can use a warm flannel or wipes to give you a bed
bath, and you can use dry shampoo to give your hair a bit of a pick-me-up. If
you are more mobile, it’s worth asking for an Occupational Therapy referral, as
they can provide you with aids, such as shower chairs and bath boards, to make
it easier to carry out these tasks. If you suffer with muscle pain, it’s
thought that magnesium rich bath salts, like Epsom Salts B.P,
can help. Magnesium is said to relax muscles and sulphate detoxifies skin, so
if bathing is an option this is something to look in to.
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| These can be found in places like Holland and Barrett |
It can also be nice to experience spa treatments like massage and
facials, which can often help with pain. These days there are so many mobile
therapists, so you don’t even need to leave your home. In my opinion it’s best
to ask friends and family for recommendations, because you will need someone
that will understand your medical needs. If paying a professional isn’t
something that you can do, there are plenty of ways to make your own spa
treatments. If a friend or carer has some time to spend with you, why not apply
facemasks, create foot spas (warm bowls of water) and relax together. It’s
about finding the little things that are right for you, and that will make you feel a bit better.
It is often difficult when you’re mainly housebound to feel like a part
of the world around you. Your friends are off out working, socialising and most
importantly shopping, while you’re stuck at home, often not changing out of
your pyjamas. I’ve always loved buying new clothes and checking out the latest
fashion, but being ill really took this away from me. Illness doesn’t have to
shut you out completely though. With Internet shopping improving all the time,
it’s now easier than ever to log on to your favourite store and place an order.
When you’re particularly unwell, clothes and fashion are probably the last
thing on your mind, but even having some pretty pyjamas or slippers can make
you feel that little bit nicer. There are also plenty of comfy clothes to
choose from – look out for garments made of soft, natural materials that won’t
rub and irritate your skin. Most online shops are very easy to return to if
something isn’t right, and I know that New Look will accept online
returns to store, so a friend or carer can drop them back for you.
I know a lot of people with invisible illnesses can have sensitivities
to fragrance and make-up, so finding things that suit you can be a nightmare.
Some will just avoid these products completely, but if you want to try things
out, I’ve found it incredibly difficult when you’re housebound. Debenhams have started
sending a sample bottle of perfume with your main order, which, although a bit
of a long-winded process, does give you the opportunity to test the fragrance
and get a full refund if it doesn’t suit you. Lush have fantastic
customer service, and I have found them to be one of the most helpful companies
since I’ve been ill. If you place an order online and ask if they have any
samples in the message box, more often than not you will be sent a very
generous bag full of various products to try. If you’re able to get to the
store, or if you know someone who can, the staff have always been incredibly
helpful with dispensing samples to try before you buy. Unfortunately, I’ve
never had any luck with other companies understanding the difficulties of
buying cosmetics when you’re housebound, which is a real shame.
I hope this post might be of some help if you’re reading this and suffer
from an invisible illness. But, I also hope it will help to raise awareness and
understanding of the effect of illness on day-to-day life, and that, although
someone may be unwell, they are not defined by their illness.
How do you pamper yourself when you’re
not feeling well? Have you found any companies that have staff that go the
extra mile to help?
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