The Words that Saved Me - A Review (AD Gifted)

A while ago, I received an email from Sarah Mozer, asking if I would be interested in reviewing her book on my blog. Once she’d explained a bit more about her book and the story behind it, I was really keen to work with Sarah, as it sounded like a book I, and therefore my readers, might really benefit from. The back of the book describes it all perfectly, so I thought I’d start by just sharing what it says…

 

“A raw and emotional collection of poetry on life with severe chronic illness. Both heart-breaking and hopeful, these poems follow the story of how as a bedbound twenty-something, I found the courage and resilience to keep going when every part of me was saying give up.

 

The Words That Saved Me was written and compiled over three years from the confines of my bed – beginning in the darkest depths of depression and continuing as I began to find the possibility of peace amongst the pain, limitations, and isolation I was, and still am facing. This book is a reminder of how life can get better even when it truly feels impossible. 

 

Whether you have experienced chronic illness or not, I hope the words in this book resonate with you in some way and that by sharing my soul with you, your soul hurst a little less.”

The book is broken down into sections, starting with an introduction that tells you a bit about Sarah and her experience of chronic illness. She discusses the different emotional stages she has been through during her chronic illness journey, and offers inspiration for others who may currently be in a dark place.

 

Following on from the introduction, the next few chapters take us through the different emotional stages, from darkness, to sparks of hope and finishing with helpful things. I thought it might be useful for me to talk to you about each stage in turn, and how I found the poems in that section.

 

So we’ll start with darkness – a section I can relate to a lot at the moment. The poems in this section are incredibly raw and blunt, communicating the desperate place that Sarah found herself in. As someone who is currently going through a relapse in their mental health, I felt I could really relate to a lot of the poems and how I’m currently feeling. One poem in particular stood out to me – it’s called Frayed and I wanted to share it with you:

 

“How much can I endure?

When is enough enough?

At what point will it all become too much.

I try

And I try

Holding on to threads of hope

As they fray to single strands,

I can’t fight this fight forever.”

 

The book then moves onto ‘The Words I Need to Hear’, and it reminds me of a big hug from a loving friend. As you make your way through the pages, you are reassured and comforted by kind words, just as a best friend would do to you if you were in the dark place spoken about at the beginning of the book. Like I said, I’m really struggling with my mental health at the moment, and I found reading these words a real comfort. Words such as “If all you did today was exist, then to exist was your purpose. Maybe is seems like a waste, but you are here for a reason,’ from the poem Stardust and Magic. 

 

We then progress to ‘Spark of Hope’ where you get a sense of a real shift in Sarah’s mental state. Suddenly, rather than living in darkness, you can feel hope and optimism, albeit fairly tentative. She still acknowledges the darkness and how overwhelming it can be, but you feel drawn into the fact it seems possible to move forward and onto something a bit more positive. I really liked the poem ‘Surrender’ in this section, particularly these lines:

 

“Anger

Frustration

And sadness

Will not help you here.

Put down those weapons

They will only cause you more pain.

 

Instead;

Choose acceptance,

Choose peace.

Find the strength

To surrender to this moment

Exactly as it is.”

 

Following this, we move on to ‘Light in her eyes.’ You can really feel the determination in the poems in this section to live a more positive life and move away from the darkness. Sometimes I find that when you get these positive quotes and sayings that they can feel quite fake or patronising, but these poems don’t feel any of those things. The positivity and determination feels real and raw, like it’s come from a place of real hard work to move forward to that place. Through the poems you can learn how Sarah fought against those dark thoughts and how she continues to fight to live in a more positive place. I really liked the poems in this section, as they made me feel really inspired. I particularly like the poem ‘Believe:’

 

“I don’t know why I am where I am,

Maybe there is no reason or plan.

But I choose to believe

I’m where I’m supposed to be,

Because that is the thought

That sets me free.”

 

At the end of the book are a couple of pages under the heading ‘Helpful Things.’ These aren’t poems but are instead some information that Sarah hopes other chronically ill people may find helpful. She shares a variety of treatments, management techniques and resources that have helped her in her chronic illness journey to living a better quality of life. Whilst unsolicited advice is usually something people in the chronic illness community step away from, it’s interesting to hear what other chronically ill people have found helpful, especially when your illness has no cure or real treatment options.

 

Overall, I’m so glad Sarah sent me her book to review. I found it genuinely inspirational, comforting and relatable. I don’t think you need to be chronically ill to enjoy Sarah’s book either, as I believe the poems could relate to all kinds of situations, not just illness. If you’d like to support a chronically ill writer, you can buy Sarah’s book on Amazon and she is also selling signed copies on Etsy.

 

Have you read Sarah’s poetry book? I’d love to hear what your thought on it are?

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Recent Reads

I spoke in my last ‘Recent Reads’ post about the fact I am trying to read more books this year, as part of my Goals for 2019. I feel like my progress has slowed a little bit, partly due to my health not playing ball, but also because I feel like I’ve got distracted by other things. But I think the good thing about goals are, that you can keep refreshing and re-starting them whatever the time of year. So, I’m trying once again to make more of a conscious effort to set aside more time for reading, rather than scrolling aimlessly on my phone and watching another episode of The Simpsons! Despite my progress slowing down a bit, I have still got through quite a few books in the last few months, so I thought I would do another ‘Recent Reads’ post to tell you all about the books I have managed to read. 

How to Fall in Love by Cecelia Ahern

I have loved Cecelia Ahern’s books ever since I read her first novel, P.S. I Love You (if you haven’t read it, I would wholly recommend giving it a read!) So every time I see her release another book, I’m usually pretty quick to add it to my collection to read, as she is yet to write something that I haven’t enjoyed. How to Fall in Love actually came out in 2014, so it’s taken me a while to get round to reading this one (I blame having too many books on my bookshelf!) but I’m happy to report that I thought this was just as good as her other novels.

This book is about Christine Rose, who is crossing the Ha’penny Bridge in Dublin (all of Cecelia Ahern’s books are set in Ireland) late one night when she sees a stranger, Adam, poised to jump. Like any normal person, Christine is concerned and wants to help, so she ends up managing to talk him into a reckless deal: if he gives her two weeks – until his 35^th birthday – she will prove that life is worth living. The story follows the two characters through the next two weeks, as Christine discovers that what she has promised is perhaps not as easy as she first thought. 

As someone that tries to raise awareness of mental illness, I loved the fact that this book centred on exploring mental health and suicide. It’s a very difficult topic to get right, but from my perspective, I felt that Cecelia Ahern did a really good job. Trying to convince a suicidal person to live is a huge task, especially for one person, and I think that came across well throughout the book – she doesn’t make it seem easy and I liked the fact she detailed the ups and downs of mental illness, and how someone can seem to be doing better when in actual fact they are still struggling just as much. I also think it’s good that Cecelia Ahern chose Adam to be the person struggling with his mental health, as so often, it’s women’s mental health that is focused upon, whereas this raises the profile of mental health and suicide in men. Overall, I would definitely recommend giving this a read if you’re looking for a new book to get stuck into, especially if you’re a fan of Cecelia Ahern’s other books.

I Stop Somewhere by T.E. Carter

I don’t actually remember ever buying this book or having received it as a gift, so I’m not 100% sure how it ended up on my bookshelf! I want to start by saying that this was a difficult read, mainly due to the topics and themes in the story. It is about a young girl called Ellie Frias, who has never wanted to be popular – she just wants to blend in and to be accepted. But then Caleb Breward changes everything. He tells her she’s beautiful and makes her believe it. Ellie loves Caleb, but she’s not always sure that she likes him – as they say though; love is blind. But one night, Ellie discovers the monster her boyfriend really is. Ellie wasn’t the first girl Caleb raped, but she was the first he murdered.

The story is told in a mixture of flashbacks to when Ellie was alive and through Ellie’s eyes now that she is dead. She witnesses Caleb shatter the lives of other girls again and again, all the time waiting, hoping, that one day, someone will find her and uncover the secrets buried with her. You can tell from the blurb that it’s not going to be an easy book to read and I did struggle to keep going with it at points. I definitely had to be in the right frame of mind to sit down and read it, so I wouldn’t say it’s one of those books you can just pick up and put down whenever you fancy getting lost in a story. 

I thought the writing was very powerful and it does raise awareness of sexual violence with great empathy. Some parts felt a bit repetitive whilst others felt quite rushed, but overall it was an extremely emotive book to read. For anyone thinking about reading this book, I would definitely include a trigger warning though, as some of the content can be quite graphic and disturbing. 

After You by JoJo Moyes

I picked up After You after enjoying the first book in the trilogy, Me Before You. I was a bit dubious about where the story could go, after feeling it had been fairly wrapped up in the first book, but somehow JoJo Moyes managed to find a fork in the road that allowed the story to continue. This book demonstrates that when one story ends, another begins. It continues to focus on Lou Clark (who you will remember from the first book as one of the central characters). She has a lot of questions. Like how she’s ended up working in an airport bar, or why the flat she has owned for a year still doesn’t feel like home. But she does know that something has to change. And then, one night, it does. A stranger turns up on her doorstep, but Lou isn’t sure whether they hold answers to her questions or if they just bring more questions with them. She could close the door and continue her simple, ordered, safe life. Or she could open it and risk everything. 

It had been a while since I’d read Me Before You, so I was a bit worried that I would have forgotten about everything that happened. But luckily this book had lots of little ‘prompts’ that reminded me of things I thought I had forgotten, so I found it very easy to pick back up again. I had found the first book quite compelling, being someone that has a disability and able to relate to some of the things Will was feeling. And I felt that this book helped me to get to know Lou Clark a bit better and to understand her more as a separate person to Will. It was interesting to see where her life went after the turbulent time she had throughout the first book. I’m now looking forward to reading the final book in the trilogy – Still Me.

Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon

I remember winning this book in a competition with Mind. I’d never really heard anything about it before, but when I saw that it was about someone’s journey with mental illness, I’ll admit I was a bit concerned that I might find it a difficult read. On the contrary – it was brilliant! Bryony Gordon - a hugely successful columnist for the Telegraph, a bestselling author, and a happily married mother of an adorable daughter, writes the book. Bryony has OCD. It’s the snake in her brain that has told her ever since she was a teenager that her world is about to come crashing down. It’s caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. But it got to a point where Bryony became fed up of keeping silent about her illness, and so she decided to share her story. 

I honestly couldn’t put this book down! There were parts that had me in fits of laughter and parts that nearly made me cry. It is written with such honesty and openness, and really gets across just how all-encompassing mental illness can be. I found myself nodding along to so much of it because I could relate to what Bryony had been through and, in some cases, it was the first time I had heard of any one else having the same thoughts and feelings that I’ve had. It was strangely comforting to hear someone else talk about such terrible and frightening thoughts because it helped me to realise that I’m not completely mad (or if I am, then at least it’s not just me!) 

Reading this book also brought me huge amounts of hope. Bryony’s 20’s were not good – nothing really went right for her and she often felt like things were completely hopeless. But in her 30’s, things started to turn around. She met her now husband and had a beautiful daughter. Obviously we are all different and have different paths, but just hearing that things can get better, even if they have been awful for so long, gave me hope that the same could happen to me. 

Wilde Like Me by Louise Pentland

I can’t believe it took me so long to get round to reading Louise Pentland’s first book, Wilde Like Me. I’m a big fan of Louise’s and have watched her channel/read her blog since pretty near the beginning. So when I knew she was bringing out a book, I knew it would be something I would want to read. I even pre-ordered it so I could get my hands on a signed copy! But for some reason it then sat on my bookshelf for way too long before I got round to reading it. And I only wish I had started earlier!

The book is about a lady called Robin Wilde, who is a single Mum to Lyla. She’s great at her job and has a best friend and Auntie who love her to bits. From the outside, everything looks great. But Robin has a secret. Behind the mask, things can often feel grey and lonely. She struggles to fit in with the other school mums, finds online dating despair inducing and worries about being able to give Lyla the very best. But after four years (and two months and twenty four days) of single-mum-dom, Robin realises it’s time to get out there and change her life. Exciting new opportunities are soon on the horizon, and the story follows Robin as she decides whether to seize the possibilities she creates for herself and finds out what surprises her life has in store for her. 

I found this such an easy read, which is just what I was looking for. I didn’t have to concentrate too hard and could just get lost in Robin’s world for a while. It was such a feel-good book and I loved following Robin as she branched out and found some inner confidence to start making things happen. Every time I closed the book (which wasn’t easy to do because I kept wanting to read on!) I just came away feeling uplifted and happy – just what I need in a book! Now that I’ve read this book, I’m excited to move on to the next two Wilde books in the trilogy!

And there we have it – my recent reads for you this time round! I hope you’ve enjoyed hearing my reviews of these books and that it’s given you some inspiration of what to read next if you’re struggling to decide. If there are any books you think I might enjoy, please do let me know, as I’m always looking for new things to read (even if my bookshelf is overflowing!)

What have you been reading recently? Have you read any of the books in this post, or will you be reading any now that you’ve read about them?

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Clinique iD Blogger Event

*I was invited to have a skin consultation and makeover and hear about Clinique iD, but bought my own products and all opinions are my own

A couple of Saturdays ago, I was invited down to the Clinique counter in Boots at The Oracle Reading to find out more about the release of the Clinique iD™ moisturiser. I’d seen it advertised, but didn’t really know anything about it, so was interested to find out more. So after checking out some of the shops in The Oracle, and having a bit of lunch with my Mum in Pizza Express, we made our way to Boots where I met up with Kirsty from Unseen Beauty (another blogger from the South East Bloggers Circle) and Mariam, who works for Clinique and was organising the event. 

As there were only two of us, we were able to have individual consultations with the Clinique staff, which meant we could really find out about the best products for each of us. We started off by going through a skin consultation in order to find out about the type of skin we have and our main areas of concern. I chatted to Mariam about the fact I have relatively ‘normal’ skin, which can get a bit dry sometimes, and that my main issues were dark under-eye circles and my skin generally looking dull and tired.  

After we’d gone through all the questions, Mariam took me through a typical skincare routine using Clinique products that were suitable for my skin type. We started by using the Sonic Cleansing Brush with the foaming facial soap, which felt amazing on my skin. I’ve never used an electronic cleansing tool before, but after trying this one out I’m very tempted to save up for one for myself. The only thing is, I tend to use Micellar Water at the moment, which they don’t work with, and so I would have to change my cleanser. My next product was the Clarifying Lotion 2, which sweeps away pollution, grime and dulling flakes to reveal smoother, clearer skin. It’s a bit like a toner, but as well as toning it exfoliates at the same time.

Then it was time to be introduced to the new Clinique iD™ moisturiser. This is a completely customisable hydration system, which is based around Clinique’s signature Dramatically Different Moisturiser lotions. The idea is that each and every Clinique customer is unique, and therefore one type of moisturiser simply isn’t going to suit everyone. This is where Clinique iD comes in. It offers 15 different combinations of active ingredients that hydrate and treat your skin specific to your concern.

You begin by picking your base, which is in the larger, outer bottle. There’s a Moisturising Lotion, which offers 8-hour skin-strengthening hydration and suits very dry to dry combination skin; an Oil-Control Gel, perfect for combination to oily skin, as it promises 8-hour oil-free hydration; and lastly, a Hydrating Jelly, which is lightweight and oil-free, suitable for all skin types and gives 24-hour hydration repair as well as pollution protection. After trying a couple of these on the back of my hand, I opted to go for the Hydrating Jelly, as I liked the light consistency. 

Once you’ve picked your base, it is then time to choose your cartridge, which can be inserted inside the base bottle. There are five different options, each one a different colour and aimed to target distinctive skincare issues:

·     The purple cartridge is for Lines & Wrinkles - giving a concentrated dose of Whey Protein it smoothes fine lines and wrinkles, rehydrates and plumps the skin

·     The blue cartridge is for Pores & Uneven Skin Texture – with AHAs to improve skin’s texture and reveal fresher, brighter skin and tighter looking pores

·     The orange cartridge is for Fatigue – it contains Taurine to re-energise skin to minimise the signs of fatigue due to daily stressors

·     The green cartridge is for Irritation – Lactobacillus Ferment helps to provide instant and soothing relief for delicate, irritated skin

·     And the white cartridge is for Uneven Skin Tone – extracts from Japanese Angelica Root helps to provide a more even skin tone

A specially designed pump and Clinique’s Custom-Blend Chemistry Technology™ simultaneously dispenses a 10 per cent dose of targeted ingredients from the cartridge, with a 90 per cent dose of your chosen moisturiser. This has been worked out to maximise the therapeutic effect of each formula and to make sure both products absorb properly into your skin. As one of my main skin issues is dull, tired-looking skin, we decided to choose the orange ‘Fatigue’ cartridge to go with my chosen base. If only it could get rid of the physical feelings of fatigue as well!

After I’d used the Clinique iD™ moisturiser, Mariam gave me the Clinique Pep-Start™ Eye Cream to try. I’ve wanted to give it a go for ages, as I love under-eye creams that come with a roller ball and need any help I can get to make my under-eye area look wide awake and refreshed! It felt really cooling on my skin and I absolutely loved the applicator. Then, to finish off my skincare routine and begin with my make-up, I used the Superbalm Moisturising Gloss. It helps to treat undermoisturised skin, instantly relieves dryness and protects with antioxidants, as well as adding a bit of colour. 

Then it was time for a bit of a makeover. Mariam started by colour matching the Even Better Refresh™ Hydrating and Repairing Foundation to my skin, before blending it in. It gave me full-coverage but didn’t feel too heavy, which is exactly the type of foundation I look for. We decided against using any powder, so Mariam then popped a bit of eye shadow on my lids, followed by the High Impact™ Mascara, which helps to add maximum volume along with definition and length. I can be quite fussy when it comes to mascaras, but I really liked the way this one made my lashes look – they weren’t clumpy or too heavy, but looked full of volume and well defined. 

The finishing touches to my make-up look were the Chubby Stick™ Sculpting Highlight, which gave a really awesome glow across my cheekbones. And for my lips, Mariam used a Chubby Stick™ Moisturising Lip Colour Balm in Super Strawberry, which I was pleasantly surprised with. When she brought it over, I was a bit nervous because it looked quite dark and not usually a colour I would go for. But it came out looking a lot subtler than the packaging and I thought it really suited my skin tone. That’s the great thing about someone else doing your make-up for you – you find products that you wouldn’t have picked up yourself. 

And with that, we had come to the end of the event, but not before both Kirsty and I needed to make a purchase or two! Mariam had told us about an offer running on Clinique counters in Boots at the moment, where if you buy two Clinique products (one of which has to be foundation or skincare) you get a free six-piece gift worth £42. I’m never one to pass up a good offer, so, of course, I had to make a couple of purchases! I decided to treat myself to the Clinique iD™ and also the Chubby Stick™ Sculpting Highlight, and then was able to choose six items, from a range of eight different products, to take home in a cute Clinique bag, for free! If I’d decided to buy a third item, I would also have been able to take home a free full-sized bonus gift worth £17.50, so there’s definitely some bargains to be had!

After having a quick look around at the rest of the Clinique goodies on offer, it was time for us to head back home again. I had a lovely time with the Clinique ladies in Boots at The Oracle and am so happy to have been invited down there to try out their new Clinique iD™. I first started using Clinique products about twelve years ago, and even now, one of my favourite products is the Take the Day Off™ Cleansing Balm, so it was great to discover some more of their products to add to my favourites!

Are you a fan of Clinique products? Have you tried the new Clinique iD™ at all yet?

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