Take it a day
at a time
I think this is the biggest tip I turn to whenever I’m
having trouble with my mental health, and it’s something I would recommend time
and time again. The worst thing you can do when you’re feeling overwhelmed and
anxious about the future is to look too far ahead. When your brain is doing
somersaults wondering how you can possibly get through to December, fit in all
the necessities and do all those amazing things that everyone else is doing
(they’re not, but you think they are!) it can often feel like you’re running
out of time before you’ve even started. Either that, or it can feel like you’re
looking out at an expanse of desert that goes on and on and you wonder how on
earth you’re going to reach the end when there’s so far to travel. Obviously
some things need to be planned in advance, like hospital appointments, work
commitments etc, but as long as those are in the diary when you need them to
be, I find it a lot easier to just get through one day at a time. Generally on
a Sunday I will look at my week ahead, just so I’ve got an idea of anything
that’s coming up, but after that I will just think about my Monday. What things
do I need to do – do I have any appointments or deadlines that have to be met?
And what things would I like to do? If I’ve got a completely free day, I like
to try and plan something, even if it’s just small, so that I have a reason to
wake up in the morning. Doing things this way makes me feel much less anxious
and much more in control of my ability to keep going.
Make mini
goals not huge resolutions
Especially at this time of year, it’s really easy to
set yourself big resolutions like eating more healthily, exercising more or
being tidy. There’s nothing wrong with resolutions like these if you feel able
to keep to them, but for a lot of people setting goals this big just ends in
feeling like a failure after two weeks. It certainly does for me! I find it much
better to set myself smaller, more achievable goals either daily or weekly.
They can be as tiny as going to bed before midnight or eating one piece of
fruit a day, but usually I will only set a week’s worth of these little goals
because I’m more likely to keep to them and therefore end up feeling better. I
like to use things like a weekly planner or post-it notes like these where
you’re able to make daily to-do lists – I do much better when I have tasks
written down in front of me, and there’s no better feeling than being able to
tick things off (does anyone else ever make a list of things they’ve already
done, just so they can tick them off?!) I think it’s also important to try and
make your goals positive ones as well. It’s all very well writing a list of
things you don’t want to do or can’t do any more (Don’t go to bed late, don’t
eat junk food etc.) but how rubbish does it feel having to follow all these
instructions not to do the things you actually want to do!? So I try to reframe
them and turn them into a more positive goal – instead of saying ‘Don’t go to
bed late,’ why not say ‘Go to bed earlier so I can read my book for half an
hour?’ Instantly it feels more appealing – one, because you don’t feel like
you’re being told off every time you read it, and two, because you’ve given
yourself a positive reason to go to bed earlier. Just little things like this
can really help with sticking to your goals.
Factor in
self-care
When you’re setting yourself goals, it can be
easy to forget looking after yourself. And especially when you’re feeling
anxious about getting through a whole year and making it the best year
possible, you can become so busy trying to cram everything in that self-care
doesn’t even factor in your day-to-day life. I feel a little bit hypocritical
talking about self-care, because it’s something I still struggle a lot with.
But at the same time, I’m beginning to understand how important it is. I used
to believe anything to do with self-care was just self-indulgent and a waste of
precious time and energy. But actually, now that I’ve started to make a bit
more time for it, I realise that it actually puts me in a better place for
everything else I do. I’ve seen what happens to people who focus solely on
everyone else and neglect themselves – they’ve become run down to the point
they can’t help anyone. So it’s really important to make a bit of time for
yourself regularly and look after your needs as well. When you say self-care,
people often think of painting your nails or going for a massage. And while
these things are most definitely self-care, it can also be more every day
things like making sure you eat three meals a day or ensuring you get a decent
night’s sleep. Anxiety can feel so much worse when you’re feeling burnt out, so
looking after yourself as well as those you love can really help you to address
the year feeling a little more equipped.
Reflect on the good things from last year
When you’re looking at a whole year ahead of
you with anxious anticipation, I find it can really help to look back on the
year that’s just finished and remember the good times from then. One way that I
like to do this is by looking back through my photos, mainly because the
majority of my photos are of nice, happy moments that I don’t want to forget. If
I just reflect back on the year, I will often go straight to the bad times – my
mental health crisis, being in hospital… But if I look at my photos, I realise
there were so many good things, little things, that got me through those difficult
times. And remembering all of those good things help me to believe that, even
if 2018 isn’t ‘The best year of my life,’ and even if I have some really
difficult times, I can still get through it and there will still be light in
the darkness. Because I find photos so powerful, one of my goals for this year
is to get a lot more of my photos printed off and put some time in to starting
a Project Life album. Ideally, I want to have an album for each year – that way
I have something physical that I can look back on whenever I’m feeling doubtful
about how I will manage to get through another year.
Plan some things to look forward to
I think it can be really difficult to look at a
year ahead and feel like you have nothing to look forward to. Now, I know my earlier
point talked about taking things one day at a time, but I do think there is an
exception to that tip and that is planning some things to look forward to.
Depending on how you best like to manage your time, you can either do this for
the whole year or just do it for a week at a time. I tend to sit in the middle
though. I like to try and have a few bigger things set up throughout the year
to look forward to – so things like a holiday, perhaps a few days out, visiting
friends that don’t live near-by. But then I will also look a couple of weeks/a
month at a time and plan some smaller things to keep me going. So, if I look at
my calendar on a Monday and see I have a quiet day on the Friday, I might see
if my Mum fancies going for a coffee or if my sister-in-law is free so I can go
and visit her and my new nephew. Plans don’t have to involve other people
either – sometimes I might just plan a film or TV programme I would like to
watch, or put a morning aside to write a couple of penpal letters. But knowing
I have these little treats to work towards helps me to get through the days
that perhaps aren’t so fun.
Use something like a Happiness Planner
If you’re not a planner person, then this last
tip probably won’t be your kind of thing. But, if like me, you’re a bit
obsessed with planning and journaling, you’re going to love using something
like the Happiness Planner.
This is just an example, as there are so many planners and journals out there
to choose from depending on what sort of thing you want to record. But I find
it really helpful to have a place where I can just do a bit of a brain dump –
whether it’s a blank page notebook that I can just write essays in, or this
Happiness Planner, which asks you all kinds of questions to help you get a
better idea of what makes you happy (and sad) and how you can plan around this.
If you love this kind of thing and are looking for a journal or planner to try
out, I found so many options simply by typing in ‘journal’ or ‘planner’ into
the search bar on Amazon.
As well as helping you gather your thoughts together, these can also be a great
distraction when those anxious thoughts take over.
I hope these little tips will help if you’re
struggling with New Year anxiety, but I think it’s important for me to
acknowledge the fact that this doesn’t have to be ‘your year’ or ‘the best year
ever!’ There’s so much pressure, especially when you look at social media, for
everyone to be doing amazing things and living their best lives, but sometimes
simply getting out of bed and getting dressed is enough. Chances are, most of
the people you see posting amazing photos on Instagram have pretty dull lives,
just like the rest of us!
How do you cope with New Year anxiety? I’d love
you to share your tips for managing anxiety and getting through another year
I am LOVING that Happiness Planner, I definitely need one myself!
ReplyDeleteAh you should definitely treat yourself to one! They have different colours and a few different designs etc :) xx
Delete