Bucket List

For as long as I can remember I’ve been full of ideas for things I’d like to do in my life. As a child, this consisted of goals such as being a ballerina or maybe a vet, as well as fun things like going to Disney World and getting my face painted. As I’ve got older, my dreams have evolved with the changes in my health, although, saying that, I still have ambitions to do amazing things if my health allows.

Over the years I’ve made various lists – I attempted a project called 101 Things in 1001 Days, where you list 101 goals you’d like to achieve in 1001 days. Needless to say, I didn’t tick off all 101 points, but it was a nice way to encourage me to do things like sending a random text each week and surprising five different people with a little gift. I also had bigger things on the list, such as taking my Mum away for a spa weekend to Champneys and visiting a friend up in Yorkshire.

It was only relatively recently that I came across the term ‘Bucket List.’ If it’s not something you’ve come across before, it is basically a list (as long as you like) of goals you would like to achieve before you kick the bucket! I thought this was a perfect opportunity to put together my own bucket list, but if I keep it to myself I tend to find it gets forgotten about and my goals are never reached. So, I had a think about how I could encourage myself to look at it more often and hopefully achieve more of my dreams and ambitions. This is where my blog came in.

What a perfect opportunity to share my bucket list with the World! It means people can nag me and remind me of my list when it looks like it’s slipped my mind. It also gives me a place where I can keep track of what I’ve done, with words and photos, so that others and I can see how I’m doing. I’ve also bought myself a rather nice scrapbook, which I’m going to use to record every point I achieve from my bucket list. I’m actually feeling really excited about it, and I hope it will mean I make more of my life because if this illness has taught me anything, it’s that life is short and you never know how much time you will have, so it’s important to make the most of it when you can.

Image from Weheartit

If you’d like to keep up-to-date with my bucket list and the progress I make with it, you can find it all here. I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments as I move through my journey, so don’t be shy!

Do you have a bucket list? Have you completed many items from it and how to you keep track of what you do?

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Sunday Spotlight - 25th May 2014

This week, I’ve been loving…

Tea

You might remember that, a month or so ago, I did a post reviewing lots of different hot chocolates. It went down so well that I’ve decided to look into reviewing other products, the first of which will be teas! I’m a massive fan of teas – herbal, fruit infusions and even your bog standard cuppa. I’ve been stocking up with various brands so I can start my taste testing, which has meant lots of tea in the post over the last couple of weeks. A particularly exciting parcel came this week, and I opened it to find these adorable (can tea be adorable?!) Teapigs sample packs. I’m so excited to get tasting them, so keep your eyes peeled for a review post soon!

Gardening

I’m using the term gardening fairly loosely – I don’t want you thinking I’m some sort of green-fingered miracle worker! I’d love to be better at gardening and rather fancy the idea of growing my own vegetables. I’d like nothing more than to have a beautiful cottage garden blooming with colours and fragrances throughout the year. But, sadly, I’m nowhere near that at the moment. But, this week I made a start on my dream by planting some sunflower and sweet pea seeds. The last time I grew sunflowers I was in Infant School, so probably about 5 or 6. My sunflower was amazing though and grew so tall, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll be just as successful this time round. I’m also really hoping my sweet peas will grow, as it’s not the ideal time to plant them – I should have done it a few months ago but never got round to it, so here’s hoping I might just be lucky.

Snail Mail

As I mentioned last week, I’m trying to take a step back from social media at the moment, as I need to focus on my life and getting through one day at a time. In some ways it has been great – I’m not constantly reading about other people doing the things I’d like to be doing and have had more time to focus on my family and doing little things for myself. But, I’m also finding I feel more lonely and wonder what I’m missing out on. There’s no pleasing me obviously! Saying that, a few friends have continued to send me post, which has been much appreciated. I know a lot of people don’t like to send post when they may not get a quick reply, and I can understand that, but I am so grateful that I have some friends who don’t mind not receiving a reply and continue to send post to cheer me up.

Some of the snail mail I've received this week

What has grabbed your attention this week? I love hearing about people’s new discoveries and you may end up sharing something that makes it onto my list next week!

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But you don't look sick!

As part of Invisible Illness Awareness Month, I've been having a think about my own experiences of being ill and how people around me have perceived this. I've generally been relatively lucky when it comes to people I care about accepting my illnesses, but that's not to say I haven't been subjected to the odd daft comment, generally from people who haven't taken the time to try and understand. One problem I regularly come across when talking to healthy people, is that they are often worried about saying the wrong thing to me (or someone with a long-term illness) so tend to drift away. It's something I can understand completely. Before I became very unwell I knew of a couple of people with serious illnesses, and I was terrified of saying the wrong thing to them and would sometimes make up excuses to get out of seeing them. It's not something I'm proud of, but now I can see it from both perspectives I can see how pointless it was to worry so much that I ended up avoiding them. I therefore thought that I would use my experience to talk about what not to say to someone with a serious, long-term illness. However, I also thought it was important to give a few ideas about things you could say. Obviously this is just my point of view (with a little help from some of my poorly friends) but hopefully it will give a bit of insight and help you feel less anxious if you encounter this sort of situation in the future.

- You look so well/But you don't look sick:

This comment has always baffled me slightly, because I'd love to know what you're meant to look like if you're ill! Yes, sometimes someone can look ill, but some of the most poorly people I have met have actually looked pretty normal! You can disguise an awful lot with a wig, some make-up and slightly baggy clothes, when, underneath, you might be losing your hair from chemotherapy or have a feeding tube going directly into your intestine. Even if someone doesn't have any physical signs of illness, it doesn't make their suffering any less. I know people often think they're paying a compliment to say someone looks well, but when you're feeling awful it can feel quite frustrating for people to assume you're fine just because you look ok.

These photos of Lizzy try to demonstrate the different faces of invisible illness

- I'm disabled but would never choose to use a wheelchair:

I think this type of comment in particular can be incredibly hurtful. The idea that someone chooses to use a wheelchair (or any other aid) is quite frankly ridiculous. Yes, there might be the odd person out there that uses aids for reasons other than disability, but the vast majority of people rely on the use of aids because they have to. Certainly for myself, and a lot of my friends, using a wheelchair can be the difference between being completely housebound and being able to get outside now and again. We wouldn't use aids like a wheelchair, bath board and so on if we didn't have to. We use them because they help us to achieve some sort of normality. They allow us to access parts of life that would otherwise be off limits.

Without my wheelchair there would have been large amounts of time I would have been completely housebound

- But you're well enough to work so you can't be ill:

Just because you see someone working doesn't mean they don't experience consequences for that work. They may work part-time because trying to do any more would leave them too unwell. Work may be the only thing they do - it's likely that if someone is trying to work with an invisible illness they may not have the energy for a social life. There is so much stigma attached to claiming benefits, mainly because the only cases we hear about are those who abuse the system, but this can have a massive affect on the people who really do need to claim them. I know so many people who make themselves more ill trying to work, just so they don't have to claim benefits and be labeled as lazy or scroungers.

I take large amounts of medication each day so that, at times, I can try to work through some of my symptoms

- You're just tired because you haven't done anything:

This particularly applies to illnesses like M.E and Fibromyalgia, where a key symptom is fatigue. I've heard so many times people being told they only feel tired because they're not doing anything all day and lazing around the house. I really wish this was the case, but it simply isn't. With invisible illnesses like these, something as simple as eating breakfast or trying to wash yourself can set you back for weeks at a time. So imagine how ill it could make someone if they pushed themselves to do more than their body can tolerate. I've done it myself on more than one occasion, trying to prove to people that I'm not lazy, and suffering the consequences for doing so.

- Do some exercise it will help you sleep:

This ties in with the previous comment to some extent. Exercise does not automatically equal better sleep. Instead, it can result in intense pain, weakness, nausea and so many other nasty symptoms. Insomnia is a huge part of a lot of invisible illnesses for a whole host of reasons.

- You're just lazy:

This couldn't be further from the truth for the majority of people with invisible illnesses. Yes, like in all aspects of life, there are people who abuse the system because they can't be bothered to work, but all of the people I know who experience long-term illness would like nothing more than to be able to participate in everyday life. It's awful being told you're lazy when all you really want to be doing is working, socialising and generally living life to the max. For me personally, I have so many things in my head that I want to do - going to Uni, finding my dream job, volunteering, partying and so much more. It's hard enough not being able to do these things without having the label of lazy attached to you as well. Before I became seriously unwell I was a busy teenager, who rarely stopped to watch TV or sit down.

- You're so lucky to not have to work/study:

People may imagine it being luxury to lie around and sleep all day and not have to work, but it really isn't. I think people can often forget that yes, we do spend a lot of the day doing not much, but we actually feel unwell at the same time. Symptoms such as exhaustion, pain, sickness and dizziness plague each and every day, so the idea of going to work or being able to study and feel well feels like a completely unattainable goal. Please do think twice before telling someone how lucky they are because there's a lot more to illness than lazing around watching daytime TV.

Is it really lucky to be confined to bed, not being able to tolerate light, sound and even touch sometimes?

- When will you get better?:

This question isn't necessarily a bad thing to ask, but it depends on the situation and how the person is feeling. For example, if you know someone with cancer, epilepsy or M.E, it isn't really appropriate to ask them when they're going to get better. Partly because there is a chance they won't get better, but mainly because they really don't know and could do without being reminded of the uncertainty of their illness. I also feel that this question puts a great deal of emphasis on the person having control of when they will be well again, when, in reality, they have very little control over their physical health.

- Get well soon:

This is another grey area as far as I'm concerned. When I first started getting ill I received quite a few 'Get Well' cards, which was perfect at that time in my illness. At that point we didn't know I had a chronic illness, so the expectation was that I would get better soon. Knowing that people cared enough about me to send me a card was incredibly touching. However, if you know that someone has a long-term or chronic illness, get well probably isn't the most tactful sentiment to send them. To be honest once you've been ill for a few months you tend to stop receiving cards anyway, but some of the cards that have cheered me up the most were those with no writing on them, but instead had cute pictures or funny cartoons. It can really help to know someone is thinking of you, especially after months or years or your illness, so if you know someone with a long-term illness I can really recommend sending them the odd cute card.

This is an example of a card and gift that I really appreciated, with no mention of my health at all

- Well at least you don't have (Insert other illness):

This comment probably angers me the most. I've lost count of the number of times I've been told I'm lucky because I don't have cancer/M.S or another serious illness. Yes, I realise it could have been so different if I'd been diagnosed with something like this, but it really belittles the suffering I am going through. It's a common misconception that M.E isn't serious, but the truth is that people do die from complications related to it. That goes for other illnesses too. Just because we don't have a high profile illness, does not mean we are lucky. Imagine being told you have an illness that could potentially paralyse you, leave you needing to be tube fed and rob you of years of your life. Then imagine the doctors telling you that they don't really know what is wrong with you, or how to treat it, so you will be left to cope with it alone and often be branded a lier or hypochondriac. It's not a competition between illnesses, but please don't belittle what anyone is going through, no matter what their diagnosis might be.

- You obviously don't want to get better because you won't try this special diet/confess your sins and be bathed in detox etc:

I always struggle with this kind of comment because I don't like having to justify my illness and the choices I make because of it. I've found that having a diagnosis of M.E opens you up to all kinds of suggestions and opinions (not always particularly nice ones either). I'm always happy to hear what people have to say, and a lot of the time it comes from people who are genuinely interested in helping you to feel better. But I wish that people could leave it at that, a suggestion, and not make me feel bad if I choose not to take their suggestion any further. I know my body and my illness, and there are some 'treatments' that I just wouldn't feel comfortable trying. Although I'm a Christian, I'm really not a fan of being prayed over/healing retreats or anything like that. I know they help some people, and that's great, but it's just not right for me, especially when I'm already finding my faith a huge struggle. Same goes for other treatments. I also find it quite inappropriate when people that haven't bothered to speak to you for years suddenly appear, pretending they care about you getting better, and then try to sell you some new fad they've started selling. I'm sorry but please don't insult me by pretending you care when all you're really interested in is making money. Until something is proven to work, I will do what works for me personally.

- You're obviously just depressed:

Firstly, there is no such thing as being just depressed. Depression is an illness in itself that can completely take over your life. But just because I have an illness that isn't fully understood, does not mean I am automatically depressed. Chronic and invisible illnesses can cause depression, but then so can other illnesses like cancer, HIV and MS. I wish people could understand how frustrating it is to have your symptoms blamed on mental illness. Like I've said before, I know my body and I know my symptoms are from a physical illness, so the last thing I need is people fobbing me off or judging me.

Yes, I may suffer from depression, but this is alongside my physical health problems, and I always try to be positive and make the best of my situation

- You're not trying hard enough:

This is pretty offensive and if you really knew me you'd see how hard I try every single day. I try and drag myself out of bed each day, even if I'm really unwell, and very rarely do I not change my clothes and brush my teeth. These might only seem like little things, but when you're feeling awful just getting out of bed is an achievement. This is not what I thought my life would be. I have dreams and ambitions just like any other person, and every day I try everything I can to try and get myself a little bit closer to achieving them. But, I've also had to accept that my body doesn't work properly, and there might be some things I can't do in the same way a healthy person could. This doesn't mean I'm not trying though. Every day I look for different ways to achieve things that healthy people take for granted.

- I know someone who had that - they did this treatment and now they're fine!:

Again this can often be said from a place of care and concern for your health and recovery. Like I've said, I'm happy to hear the opinions of others, but you have to understand that everyone is different and what helped one person may not help another. With M.E, this seems to be a particular problem. I'm often told that I should do The Lightening Process or GET (Graded Exercise Therapy) but I don't personally agree with either - there is so much secrecy about LP and GET has been shown to make a lot of people more ill. I don't see why I should be judged just because I'm cautious about so-called miracle treatments.

- But you've got so much going for you:

This might be true, but what does it have to do with me being ill? It's not a choice I have made. It has happened to me through no fault of my own. Anyone can get ill - good or bad, old or young. Telling me I've got so much going for me just makes me feel sad because you're reminding me of what could have been if I hadn't become ill. Saying that, just because I'm ill doesn't mean I no longer have anything going for me. Some of the most amazing people I know are incredibly ill. I have poorly friends who have set up charities, done huge amounts of media work to raise awareness and raised hundreds of pounds for good causes. We are just as important to society as healthy people are.

What to say:

- Tell me more about...illness/symptom:

I really wish more people would ask questions about my illnesses. I can understand that people are probably hesitant to do so, as they worry how I might react to talking about my health, but in all honestly I'd rather talk about it. It's a massive part of my life and I feel happier when people acknowledge that and don't tiptoe around it. I want to help educate people so they understand more, and talking about it is the best way to do this. If we all talked more about health it would quickly lose the stigma of being a taboo subject. Obviously don't expect someone to go into detail they're not comfortable sharing, but if you've got a question feel free to ask it. What's the worst that can happen?

- I know someone with ... so have some understanding of what you go through:

This is a great thing to say because, while acknowledging that you don't know exactly what someone is going through, it shows you are trying to understand. It can be particularly helpful for people who have little energy, because it means they don't feel the need to explain everything to you. It can also be a good way to start a conversation with someone if you'd like to know more about their condition.

- Take things one-step at a time:

Hearing someone say this feels like such a relief. A lot of the time I'm constantly worrying about the future or trying to do more than I'm able to, so for someone to really understand how hard this is and reassure me that it's ok to take things slowly is fantastic.

- You don't need to put on a brave face with me - I'm here for you however you are:

You know you've got a real friend if someone says this to you. I spend so much of my life putting on a brave face pretending I'm ok - it's exhausting. Sometimes it's nice to just be how I really feel with someone without worrying they might judge or ditch me. Very few people have actually said this to me, which shows how special those that have said it are.

Having friends and family who accept you no matter what is such a precious thing

So, there we have it! I hope this has been enlightening and if you've found it helpful please do share it with others that you know. The more we talk about these things the more awareness and understanding there will be, which can only be a good thing.

Have you found this post helpful at all, or can you relate to any of the comments? I’d be really interested to hear opinions from both sides

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Loyalty Cards

We all like to feel special and appreciated, and one way that companies achieve this is by rewarding us for our loyalty to the brand. Whether it’s giving us a freebie or some money off our next purchase, more and more stores are cottoning on to the idea that good customer service is one of the easiest ways to hold on to customers. I was looking through my purse recently, clearing out old receipts and pieces of paper, and it inspired me to do a blog post about my favourite loyalty cards and what they offer. It also made me think about companies that don’t offer a loyalty scheme, and how brilliant it would be if they did!

The first collection of loyalty cards I have are those for supermarkets and food stores. The one I use the most is my Tesco Clubcard, which earns points every time you scan it for a purchase. You’re then rewarded with regular vouchers, as well as money-off coupons related to items you often buy. If you do most of your grocery shopping at Tesco it’s a no-brainer to use a Clubcard, and even if you only do the occasional shop, you can still be rewarded with smaller value vouchers.

John Lewis and Waitrose have also recently brought in loyalty cards, offering some fantastic benefits. If you shop at Waitrose and use your card, you are entitled to a free hot drink every day! The choice isn’t particularly extensive, but includes a latté, cappuccino and flat white. It also gives you money off certain products, as well as allowing you entry to competitions both online and in store. With the John Lewis card, you receive vouchers for a free hot drink and piece of cake each month, so even if you don’t do much shopping there, you can still enjoy a snack in their café!

I have a couple more cards that I don’t use very often these days – my Nectar card and Co-operative card, mainly because I don’t really shop in the Co-op or stores that accept the Nectar card. I don’t know a great deal about the benefits of these cards, but I’m sure they’re worth using if you happen to shop in those stores.

Another card that is very well used is my Costa Coffee Club card. Every time you buy something from Costa, present your card and it will be loaded with points. These can then be used to pay for further snacks and drinks. If you sign up online, they also run double points schemes occasionally, so your points will be doubled for a certain amount of time when you make a purchase. I never used to do much shopping in Holland and Barrett, but recently my doctor advised me to start taking a Vitamin D supplement from there, so I thought I might as well sign up for a loyalty card. Like a lot of other cards, you earn points when you spend in store, which are then sent to you in the form of vouchers. They also run special offers and point bonuses from time to time. The last card in this photo is my Waterstones card, as I absolutely love book shopping there. I have to admit I don’t use it as much as I’d like to, as it’s easier to buy books online, but this card earns you points, which can be put towards further purchases. They also offer competitions and member only benefits.

Now down to the most important selection of cards – beauty! My longest serving card is my Boots Advantage card, which has provided me with benefits for many years. You earn points when you spend, and these points can then be used to treat yourself to something special in store or online. There are also terminals in store that will print out discount vouchers when you insert your card. Recently, Boots started something called Treat Street, which allows you to collect and use points with other stores including New Look. My other beauty cards include Superdrug (collect points when you spend in store and online), Debenhams Beauty Club (points collected can be used to buy beauty products and perfume) and Space:NK, which rewards you with points and can be upgraded to a different card the more you spend with them. I also recently invested in a Love Your Body card from The Body Shop. I actually had to pay for this card, but it then means you can collect points when you buy products, as well as receiving a voucher on your birthday and other competitions and prizes throughout the year.

So, that brings me to the end of the cards I use. But there are so many other brands and stores that I wish offered a loyalty program. I must just mention Lush, who will reward you with a free facemask if you take back five clean black pots. Wouldn’t it be brilliant though if companies like Benefit, ASOS, New Look and even Paperchase started their own loyalty schemes? Or, perhaps it wouldn’t be such a great idea – I don’t think my purse would thank me if I found another excuse to go shopping!

Do you use loyalty cards at all? Which are your favourites and are there any that I haven’t included that I should check out?

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Coping with being Housebound - Guest Post

Sarah has mainly written this post, although I have added some of my own tips and advice at various points.

I am doing a guest post for the lovely Jenny, to raise awareness about the life destroying, awful, horrid, serious illness, M.E.

Now, before I begin with the topic I have chosen for awareness, I shall start by introducing myself, and telling you my own personal experiences of M.E. I first began noticing disturbing, worrying symptoms late 2008, a few days before Christmas, if I remember rightly. I am now 21. So, it’s been going on 6 years this December. Symptoms like exhaustion, feeling very drained, unrefreshing sleep, racing heart/palpitations, pain, nausea, general feeling of being unwell/something not right at all, and many more. That's the thing with M.E, it is so unpredictable, and the symptoms are ever changing for many people.

There are over 60 symptoms documented for M.E; for some, it affects them mildly, severely, moderately; However, even mildly affected, it can alter your life. 3 days after my symptoms began, I was hospitalised for 3 days due to my heart irregularities and the other symptoms I was suffering from. Of course, they did tests but the conclusion was nothing was found to be wrong.

With M.E, there is no test, no way to find out if you have it, yet. My symptoms began to multiply, dozens of new symptoms, all of different degrees, different types, and it scared me, heck, it frightened me to death because I had no way to make them disappear. I won't list them all, there are far too many, but to show you how scary, unpredictable and frightening it is,

I will explain some of the different areas it can affect:

·      Cardiac symptoms

·      Cognitive and Neurological dysfunctions

·      Digestive dysfunctions

·      Headaches

·      Immune system dysfunctions

·      Joint and muscle problems

·      Widespread pain

·      Seizures

·      Sleep problems

·      Weight changes

·      Difficulty regulating temperature

·      Fatalities (Yes, it has been known to cause death in serious cases)

I have been both bedbound and housebound, however, I am lucky in the sense I have my rare good days where I am able to go outside for a short period of time, or to spend time with my family, like my nephew and niece, but not without consequences. I take the bad with the good, because the good is worth it. This is my life, all wrapped up in three different parts; Good days, Bad days, Very bad days.

Everyday, I have my daily meds - 33+ pills, and I say + as there are others too but they’re not as important. On bad days, it's more. I can swallow at least 10 in a few gulps whereas before could hardly swallow 2 – I guess that's a plus! I always try to find a positive; it keeps me going to try and focus on even the smallest positive.

A small selection of medications someone with an invisible illness can take

With M.E, you don't LOOK as ill as you actually are. It is an invisible illness. The differences can be surprising. For example, this is me all "dolled up" and then me without the make-up:

A bit of make-up and doing my hair, and I actually look pretty well

People don't often see me when I've got no make-up on and have been stuck in my pyjamas for days at a time

A lot of us try and appear ‘well’ because of the judgment we get with this illness. We are not faking this, we are not attention seeking, it is not in our heads, it is not psychological. Just because it's invisible, doesn't mean it does not exist.

When housebound, you can find it extremely difficult because:

1) Others can enjoy their lives, and you cannot do what they can.

2) Every single day is the same, making you feel that repetitive boredom and even more upset that you cannot do anything else.

3) You want to be able to live your life the way you used to, or want to, and you can't.

These 3 factors and many more make being housebound a very hard thing to come to terms with. Depression is a possibility because you begin to feel down, low, depressed, because of your illness, because you cannot do the above things and many more, which can become a very big issue, as it has with myself and many others. However, M.E is NOT PSYCHOLOGICAL. I say this because people may take the above the wrong way - I said Depression can be CAUSED by M.E, not the other way around, so please note that. There is no cure for M.E, and that's a major part of awareness: raising money to help fund research, and eventually, find a cure for this.

The following information is to help those who are housebound, which I think is important because some people forget that a lot of those with M.E are house, or worse, bed bound.

Coping with Being Housebound

Being housebound is something that affects many people, for a variety of different reasons. It may be for a short period, or can last for years. No matter how long it goes on for, it is an extremely difficult thing to cope with.

There are times when the walls feel like they are closing in and it’s hard to know what to do if you physically can’t go out, no matter how much you may want to. I believe that just because you are stuck at home doesn’t mean you have to feel bored and alone. These are some tips that I’ve picked up during my years of being housebound.

Bring the outside in:

It’s really easy to lose track of the world around you when you’re stuck inside, especially if you’re unable to go out into the garden or even have the curtains open. You can lose all sense of the time of year and the seasons. It’s lovely when carers, family or friends bring things in from outside for you to see, touch and smell. You can take in anything from the garden, park or beach.

For example flowers, leaves, stones, even snow or icicles in the winter and sand or shells in the summer. For celebrations like Bonfire Night and New Year’s Eve, you can even get indoor fireworks and sparklers, and it can be great fun toasting marshmallows over a candle.

Access the right care and treatment:

When you’re housebound it can be very difficult to access medical and health services that you so desperately need. But it’s important to be aware of the help that is out there for housebound patients. GP’s can do home visits; although it can be difficult to get them to agree to these, as they have so many patients that they often struggle to find time to make a home visit. Nevertheless, it is a service that should be provided if you genuinely cannot leave the house.

There are also dentists and opticians that will come to your home, rather than you having to go to them. The best option is to do a quick Google search to find out what is available in your area, or ask around if you know of other local housebound people. Your GP surgery may also be able to provide advice, as they are likely to have a fair few housebound patients on their books.

It is also worth asking for a referral to an Occupational Therapist (your GP can organise this) as they deal with housebound people on a daily basis, so can advise you on the help and support available. They can recommend aids such as stair lifts, ramps, wheelchairs and bath boards, which can help make life a little bit easier.

If you struggle with things like personal care and daily tasks like cleaning, food preparation and shopping, there are also plenty of care agencies that provide carers to come to your home and help you with everyday tasks. It is worth getting a financial assessment with Social Services, to see how much you would need to pay towards your care, but it can be a great help, especially if you are currently relying on family and friends.

Break the monotony:

It’s really easy to get stuck in a rut, to do the same things at the same time, every single day. The days end up blurring together and the boredom is awful. Find things that you enjoy doing; they may not be the same things you did before, but you can often adapt what you were doing or find completely new interests. Some ideas of things to do are:

·      Card making or crafts - go online for tutorials, or look for craft kits that provide all the materials.

·      Jigsaws – get a jigsaw board that you can fold up and put away if space is an issue.

·      Photography – you don’t have to go outside to find unusual or interesting scenes, look for unusual objects or try different angles. Pets and people can provide great inspiration.

·      Art, painting, drawing – a sketchbook can be fun to fill with doodles or works of art. Try experimenting with different mediums like pencils, pastels or even felt pens.

·      Computer games – there are lots of free games online, as well as ones to download to phones or tablets.

·      Reading – download e-books onto an e-reader or go old school with an actual book! Often libraries will deliver books to house bound residents and they normally don’t have late return fees. You can also appoint somebody to take books out from the library for you, for example a carer or friend. If you struggle to read, audio books are also a great option to look into. Calibre are a charity for people who find reading difficult for a variety of reasons, and provide audio books so people can still access the joy of reading.

·      Distance Learning – there are lots of courses online, with flexible hours and they can be done as and when you feel like it. Look into places like The Open University for more information, as they often do free short courses so you can give it a try and see how you manage

·      Look into charities that you can identify with, for example AYME or Beat as they often have membership packages that include magazines and access to message boards. There is also an organisation called Pillow Fort who publish a bi-monthly magazine for people with chronic illnesses

Alternate what you do, change up your routine and keep your eye out for new things.

Find ways to connect with people:

You may not be able to go out and you might not even be able to have visitors, but there are ways to have contact with people, so that you don’t feel completely alone. If you are well enough for visitors, there are several organisations that organise for volunteers to visit people who are home bound. These are a great way to meet new people and to break up the day with someone to talk to. Most volunteers, often called befrienders, visit for about an hour. The organisations aim to match people with similar interests; but you might also meet people you would never normally talk to and you’ll hear about all sorts of things. If you find you aren’t getting on as well as you hoped with the volunteer you can request somebody else.

If you’re feeling down and desperately need someone to talk to, then there are phone lines you can call to talk to somebody if you need a listening ear.

Try the Samaritans or this link if you’re in the USA.

With the invention of social media there are always lots of people online, no matter what time of the day or night. Sites like Facebook, Twitter and other support forums have groups you can join and talk to others with similar hobbies, interests or experiences. They can be a great way to get support when you are living with a specific condition. You can meet some lovely people, from all around the world, but it’s best to be careful with how much information you give away online. Never give out your address, telephone number or bank details. Skype is also brilliant for keeping in touch with friends and family from around the world, and can be done from the comfort of your sofa or bed using a tablet or laptop.

When making friends online, after a while you might feel comfortable to share more information, such as your address with them. Obviously you need to be careful with this, but I have made some great friends who I now write to on a regular basis. Having pen pals can really brighten your day when you’re housebound, so it’s something I would definitely recommend looking into. You can even go on Instagram and search with the hashtag #penpalswanted to find potential pen friends!

The world at your fingertips:

Just because you’re stuck at home doesn’t mean that you can’t see the world.

There are many websites now, which mean that you can enjoy far off places in real time, without ever leaving home. Try Camscape to see everything from penguins in Antarctica, to the Sydney Opera House, Time Square in New York and The Colosseum in Rome. You can even head into Outer Space with NASA’s webcam. Take time to explore some incredible places.

You can even enjoy a holiday from home by trying some recipes from the country you’re visiting, putting pictures up around your room and even learning some of the language. It’s really fun, especially when other people are going on holiday and you feel left out. Visit Holidays from Home for more tips, as well as ready-made holiday packages.

Keep online shopping in mind – you can buy practically anything online these days. Whether you need some new clothes, toiletries, food or entertainment, there really is a website for everything. If you’re not sure where to look, ask around on Facebook for recommendations.

It can be difficult to feed yourself well when you’re unable to get out to the supermarket, but that doesn’t have to be the case any more. Most of the big supermarkets now do online ordering, and to make it easier I know that Tesco remembers your shopping list for next time, so you don’t have to go through everything again. If you find it difficult to prepare your own meals, there are also companies who deliver delicious ready meals to your front door (and will even pack them into your freezer for you!) A few companies I’ve heard good things about include Wiltshire Farm Foods, Cook Food and Look What We Found. A lot of people also suffer with intolerances and allergies to things like gluten, dairy and chemicals used to preserve foods. But there are now plenty of companies who cater for these needs, including Ilumi World who provide ready meals that are gluten and dairy free, Abel and Cole who sell and deliver organic produce and Ocado who I’ve heard are great for gluten free foods and also colour code your shopping depending on whether it needs to go in the fridge, freezer or cupboard – great for when you have limited energy!

Celebrate events:

It can be really easy to feel completely left out when the world is celebrating events like New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day and other popular holidays. There’s often a big build up to it, when, despite not going out, you can’t really avoid, because it’s constantly on television, radio, online and in magazines and papers. People keep talking about all they are planning and the majority of the time this involves going out or having people over. It can also be a reminder of how different your life is to everyone else’s, which makes it harder to cope with the struggles of every day. It’s a valid choice not to acknowledge the event, but if you want to do something special, it is possible to create your own party at home. You don’t have to have people over; you can enjoy it on your own, or with online friends, as part of a web community.

To create your own party at home you can:

·      Order special, ready prepared party food from the supermarket, with online shopping.

·      Have a go at making some traditional recipes

·      Decorate your room with pictures, balloons, streamers

·      Check out online party shops for cool themed decorations

·      Adapt some of your activities during the days and weeks leading up to it to link in with the party, for example using craft time to create decorations or themed cards

·      Put together a playlist of suitable music you can listen to or look for any DVDs which are related to the party/event

Being housebound is a real challenge, it makes you adapt your life in ways you never imagined, but just because you’re at home, doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun and enjoy life; you just have to be a little creative.

Do you have any experience of being housebound? Have you found this post helpful or do you have any advice for coping with being housebound?

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