Enjoying Valentine's Day When You're Single

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock since Christmas, you will probably be aware that Valentine’s Day is coming up next week. Anyone that knows me or who follows my YouTube channel will know that I’m single (I made a video last year about looking for love with a chronic illness) and that I feel pretty crap about it. I like to think of myself as a bit of a professional singleton these days, so I’m well versed at getting through one or two (and the rest!) Valentine’s Days on my own. Now, I know that in reality, February 14^th is just another day and that really, we should be expressing our love every day of the year. And I also know that being in a relationship isn’t all roses and smiles. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that it does remind me of being on my own. So I thought I would share a few fun tips for enjoying Valentine’s Day when you’re single.

Celebrate Galentine’s Day

Galentine’s Day is a non-official holiday, celebrated on the 13^th February. It’s an opportunity to remember your gals (or pals) rather than celebrating romantic relationships. I love the idea of a day specifically focused on telling your friends how much you love them. Yes, we should be communicating our appreciation for our friends every day, but we all know that that just doesn’t happen. Life gets in the way, and before you know it you’ve gone a few months without seeing your bestie. So why not use this time of year to really show your friends how much they mean to you. You could do something as little as sending them a text or a cute card, or if you’re feeling flush, why not treat them to a special present that you know they’ve been lusting after? Or if you want to go all out, take them on a date!

Embrace some self-love

One thing I do really love about Valentine’s Day is the focus on love. Of course, the biggest emphasis is on romantic love between two people, but if you’re not in a relationship (or even if you are) why not use it as an excuse to show yourself a bit of love and care. I think all of us are probably guilty of neglecting ourselves and putting other people first. And while it’s no bad thing to be selfless, putting yourself first once in a while doesn’t have to be a selfish act. There’s so much being said about self-care at the moment, and I truly believe it’s one of the most important things you can do. There’s a quote that says: “You can’t pour from an empty cup” that really helped me to understand the importance of self-care. How can you be there for other people if you’re running on empty? So showing yourself a bit of love this Valentine’s Day could encompass literally anything – from spending a bit of money on something you’ve been lusting after to running yourself a bubbly bath or setting aside half an hour to read some of your favourite book.

Invite some friends over for dinner

If you enjoy a bit of cooking and you’ve got a few single friends, why not invite them over for a yummy dinner? Now I’ll admit, I’m no Nigella, but it can be good fun to get a few friends over, pick a new recipe (or an old favourite) and cook some good food for everyone. I love that satisfaction you get being able to feed people you care about and, hopefully, getting some great feedback. Or if you’re not a very confident chef, get your friends to come a bit earlier and all cook together – believe me there will be plenty of laughs! If cooking really feels too scary and you’re concerned your kitchen will end up looking like a toddler has emptied the contents of your fridge everywhere, invite your group over for a takeaway instead. It will not only be better than trying to book a meal out (which would cost a fortune and mean you’re surrounded by couples) but it will provide a great distraction, as well as a chance to spend some quality time with people you love.

Remind yourself of the good things about being single

This one is a bit easier said than done, but I promise you it is possible (if someone like me can manage it, then I guarantee anyone can!) Especially this time of year, when the media are trying to remind you of how amazing it is to be in a relationship (they seem to forget to mention the hard bits!) it can be difficult to think of anything else. But that also makes it a great time to try and think of all the good things about being single, and remind yourself that where you are now isn’t all bad. For example, I always remind myself that I don’t have to consider anyone else’s opinion if I want to, say, go out somewhere or spend all weekend curled up on the sofa binge-watching episodes of Friends. I’m not saying that people in relationships don’t have their own free will, but being part of a partnership does mean you have two people’s views to consider. Yes, there are a lot of things I would love to have from being in a relationship with someone, but the fact is, I’m single. So it’s about trying to be grateful for what you do have, rather than feeling sad about what you don’t.

Have a spa day

On the same lines as practicing some self-love, I think Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to book yourself in for some much deserved pampering (not that I think you need an excuse – as far as I’m concerned, any reason for a spa day is OK by me!) But I think a bit of indulgence now and again is good for everyone. One of my personal favourites is Champneys - I’ve been to their Forest Mere Spa a couple of times and absolutely loved it both times. But there are so many gorgeous spas around the country – it won’t be hard to find the right one for you. If you can’t stretch to a fancy spa visit, that shouldn’t stop you treating yourself to some pampering. You could go and get your nails done, or book in for a massage or facial with your local beauty therapist. Or you could even do a DIY spa day – dig out some nice skincare bits from the back of your cupboard, light some candles, put on some relaxing music and set aside an evening for pampering yourself.

Buy yourself some flowers

I always think it’s lovely to be bought flowers (not that it happens to me very often!) Whenever a friend or family member has given me a bunch of flowers, I can’t help but smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And having fresh flowers around the house, especially while the weather is still cold and grey, really helps to brighten up the place and lift my mood. But like I said, being given flowers isn’t a regular occurrence, so I like to treat myself to a bunch now and again. Usually mine just come from the supermarket - you can get some real bargains – this week I picked up a bunch of beautiful rainbow tulips from Tesco for only £6! If you’re thinking of treating yourself to some blooms this Valentine’s Day though, my biggest tip would be to wait and buy them the day after. Shops usually put prices up around February 14^th, but more often than not, you will go in the day after and find a huge amount of stock still for sale, but at a reduced price – bargain!

Forget about dating apps for the day

I’m terrible for whiling away the hours flicking through Tinder – swiping left and right until that message comes up telling me there’s no-one left in my area (how depressing is that?!) Sometimes it can make me feel like I’m being proactive, but a lot of the time I just end up feeling disillusioned that I’m still single and can’t seem to find The One. So, just for a day, leave the dating apps and websites alone and focus on having some fun. The last thing you want to be doing on Valentine’s Day is scrolling through hundreds of pictures, making yourself feel even worse about being single when it feels like everyone else is out on dates. Plus I’ve found that the V Day seems to attract some ‘interesting’ people to the world of online dating – believe me when I say they are best avoided until the hype has calmed down a bit!

Organise/take part in a Valentine’s Secret Santa

My last tip for enjoying Valentine’s Day when you’re single, is to take part in a Secret Santa. Now, I know what you’re thinking – Christmas was two months ago! But this Secret Santa is specifically for Valentine’s. I’ve been doing this with some friends I met through the chronic illness community for a number of years, and it really makes this time of a year a bit nicer. Someone simply takes everyone’s names and secretly matches you up with a person to send a card (and sometimes a present) to – just like Secret Santa. It means that, even if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, you still end up getting something through the post to open. There are plenty of cute cards out there that aren’t too soppy and are perfect for this kind of thing. If you don’t have a group of friends to do this with, search the hashtags on Instagram or Twitter for Secret Valentine and you’re bound to find someone organising one. You never know – you might even find a new friend (or more!)

I really hope this has given you a few fun ideas to help you enjoy Valentine’s Day this year, whether you’re single or in a relationship. I’ve also filmed a video talking about this, which you can find on my YouTube Channel. However you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day this year, I hope it will help you remember how much you are loved.

What I’m wearing:

Jumper – Primark

Denim Leggings – Next

Rainbow Dr Martens - Schuh

Are you a fan of Valentine’s Day? How will you be celebrating this year?

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February Happiness Project Round-Up

If you’ve seen my last couple of posts, you will know that this year I decided to give my own Happiness Project another go after failing a bit with the last one I tried. If you’ve never heard of The Happiness Project before, you can check out my introduction to it here. I made a sort of bucket list for each month of things I would like to do and also national days I could celebrate. Some I came up with myself, and some I found on Pinterest. But I made sure not to put any pressure on myself to do them all because that would just take away from the whole idea of it being a project to increase my happiness! I said in that post that I would share my project with you over the next year, so today I though I would go through the things I did throughout February.

First on my list was to buy a pink floral arrangement. As I said in my January post, something I have tried to include every month on my list is to buy some fresh flowers for my bedroom. So, each month I have specified the type of flowers to look out for – usually it’s something that fits with the time of year, and it gives me a reason to perhaps buy flowers I wouldn’t normally go for. I feel like I cheated slightly with this arrangement, as although the flowers were mainly pink (light and dark), I did also have some lilac tulips in there too, as I thought they looked pretty together. This time of year is perfect for one of my favourite flowers, the tulip, so as soon as I saw these in my local Waitrose I snapped them up.

Something that I like to try and do in February is to send Valentine’s cards to some of my friends. I know it doesn’t bother everyone, but I always find myself feeling a bit sad around Valentine’s Day, as being single, I don’t tend to get a card or anything. Now, I know that it’s just a holiday invented by card companies, but that doesn’t take away the difficulty of seeing lots of your friends celebrating their relationships with cards, gifts and date nights. I have always thought Valentine’s Day should be about celebrating love on a much wider scale, so, this year, I went to my local Paperchase to pick up some cute cards to send to some of my friends in the hope it would make them smile.

Another thing that I’m really trying to do more this year, is to light my candles! I have so many of them because I just love buying them, but I really don’t light them as much as I should. So my goal for February was to light sweet candles. I had a rummage through my collection, and decided to go for this Yankee Candle in Pain Au Raisin, which literally smells like a French bakery – yum! I love Yankee Candles because as well as smelling great in their solid form, they smell amazing when they’re burning. My Mum will often come up to my room while I’m working and tell me she can smell the candle I’m burning down the stairs! I hadn’t actually tried this scent before I lit this one, but it’s one I will definitely be looking out for again (although perhaps once I’ve used up some of the others in my drawer!)

Next on my list was to have a Lush Valentine’s bubble bath. I don’t really need an excuse to have a Lush bath, but as I mentioned in my January post, I do seem to be finding it difficult to make time for myself these days. So, at the beginning of the month, I had a look on the Lush website and picked a few of their Valentine’s Day products. I was so excited when they arrived and was really impressed, yet again, with their creativity and imagination. I decided to go for this heart bath bomb – it gave me lots of pink tinted bubbles and smelt divine. It was really lovely to just put half and hour aside to pamper myself, and I’m looking forward to using some of the other products I picked up in the range.

Now we’re on to the national days I managed to observe/celebrate in February. The 7^th of February was ‘Send a card to a friend day,’ and as that’s something I like to try and do anyway, I saw it as a good excuse to do it again. I knew a couple of friends who were going through a difficult time, so had a rummage through my card collection and dug out these two to send. I think the raindrops card came from The Greetings Card Company and the pink heart card was from Veronica Dearly. It was really nice choosing which card suited which friend, and then thinking of a nice message to write inside. And it was lovely when both friends messaged me to say how much the cards had brightened their days.

Valentine’s Day was, of course, on the 14^th, and whilst I didn’t do anything to specifically celebrate the day, I thought I would share with you a bit about my day. My Dad had been talking about us going to the cinema for a while, and it just so happened that the 14^th was the best day for us. So he and I went to our local cinema to see La La Land, which was really good. I’d heard mixed reviews of it, but we both really enjoyed the music and the overall story, and I would be happy to see it again when it comes out on DVD. When we got home from the cinema, I found I’d received two Valentine’s cards – one from my friend Libby and another from my friend Lizzy. They really made me smile, which made me feel happy to have sent some out myself.

Next up was Random Acts of Kindness Day on the 17^th. I do try to do random acts of kindness throughout the year, but often time will fly past and I’ll suddenly realise I haven’t done anything for months. So this was a good opportunity to think of something to do for someone who needs it. I have a friend who is going through a really difficult time at the moment, so I knew I had found the right person to do my random act of kindness for. The next step was to decide what to do for her. I was having a browse through Etsy and I found a seller who makes these gorgeous motivational picture frames. So I chose the phrase I thought suited my friend the best and put my order in. I think it’s only just been despatched, so she may not have received it yet. But hopefully she will soon and it will make her smile and know I’m here for her.

A national week that I was very keen to observe was Eating Disorders Awareness Week, which began on the 27^th. It’s something I have tried to mark for as long as I can remember, as I believe it’s so important to raise awareness of eating disorders and how serious they are. This year, I decided to film this video and upload it to my YouTube channel. I spoke about my eating disorder story and also the importance of early intervention, in the hope it would help others who are going through something similar. It was a hard video to film, reliving all those low points, but if it helps just one person to feel less alone or to understand eating disorders more, then I’ll be happy.

Pancake Day came next, on the 28^th February, and of course we had to celebrate that! I must admit we don’t limit having pancakes to just Pancake Day, but it was a good excuse to have them anyway. I started off with a pancake with bacon and maple syrup. I always used to think it was a really odd combination, but decided to try it a couple of years ago and realised what I’d been missing! After that I had the standard sugar and lemon, which is probably my favourite topping to go for. I just love the mix of sweet and sour. Not a particularly healthy meal, but if you can’t eat pancakes on Pancake Day, then when can you?!

The last national day I managed to mark was Rare Disease Day, also on the 28^th. This was a bit of a last-minute idea unfortunately, and I would have loved to do more, but I was unwell for a lot of February (ironically!) so that made things more difficult. So I decided to just write an informative status on my Facebook, talking about the rare diseases that I have and explaining a bit about them. Like I said, I wish I had been able to do something on a larger scale, like raise some money or spread awareness on national media, but Facebook was a good start.

So that was everything I managed to do in February. I did have a few more things on my list though, of goals I didn’t quite accomplish. I thought I would share them with you too, just in case you’re looking for ideas for your own list. I’m going to hold onto all these ideas and either fit them in as the year goes on, or do the project again next year! I’d love to hear your ideas of how you would celebrate this month’s list of ideas – maybe you’ll give me an idea for my next project. The goals I didn’t manage this month were:

·      February Self-Love challenge – you can find this on Pinterest and I might try and give it a go in a separate post

·      Decorate my home for Valentine’s Day

·      Valentine manicure and pedicure

·      Bake a sweet treat

·      Host a Valentine’s movie night

·      Homemade soup day – 4^th

·      National Libraries Day – 4^th

·      Mardi Gras – 9^th

·      National Pizza Day – 9^th

·      Fairy Tale Day – 26^th

I hope you’ve enjoyed hearing how I got on with my February Happiness Project. I’d love to hear your comments and if you’ve done/are doing a similar project I would love to hear all about it too! Keep an eye on my YouTube channel too for my video version of this post.

Have you done a Happiness Project before? What do you think of the idea?

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Sunday Snippets - 19th February 2017

It was my Reading Week this week, which was much needed after my work experience! Unfortunately, it has still been pretty busy, so I haven’t had much of an opportunity to rest. I’ve also been ill since the Friday I finished my work experience, so that hasn’t been much fun! But it’s been nice to have a week away from work and university, even if I have had to try and catch up with all my essays and articles!

I got up quite late last Sunday morning, so I was obviously still catching up on sleep after my work experience. After sorting out my medication and having some breakfast, I spent the rest of the morning writing and uploading my Sunday Snippets blog post. I went downstairs to have my Fortisip and because I was so cold, my Dad put the fire on, so I curled up in front of it with Freddie. I spent my afternoon catching up on Zoella’s vlogs, which is always one of my favourite ways to relax. I ordered some bits online, did a bit of admin and wrote a few penpal letters. After dinner I made myself some hot honey and lemon and curled up on the sofa. I had such a sore throat and definitely felt like I was coming down with something.

I had another lie in on Monday morning and woke up feeling pretty crap. I was meant to be seeing my GP, but the Doctors Surgery rang and told me it had to be moved to Friday. I had a fairly quiet morning before my Mum took me down to the Dentist to get my mouth guard. We’re hoping it might help with my TMJ a bit. When I got home, I edited and uploaded a video to my YouTube channel about the difficulties of looking for love with a chronic illness (you can see it here). While it was uploading I did a bit of tidying in my bedroom. I was feeling pretty rough, so spent a lot of the afternoon resting on the sofa watching TV. I caught up on my Uni emails and did a bit of Uni work, but not as much as I would have liked to. I just couldn’t seem to concentrate – my head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool. I was still feeling pretty poorly, so got myself a nice cup of Pukka tea in my Kikki.K mug.

I felt worse than Monday when I woke up on Tuesday morning. I knew I’d be more ill after pushing myself during work experience, but the joys of having a rubbish immune system mean I also caught a virus too. To be honest all I wanted to do was sleep on the sofa, but we already had plans. In the morning my Dad took me over to a Ford garage to look at Motability cars, and I test-drove a Kuga. It’s more expensive than I’d hoped, but it might fit the wheelchair in that I’m hoping to get. We need to work out if it can take a boot hoist and the chair though. We came home and I fell asleep on the sofa for a while. In the afternoon my Dad and I went to the cinema to see La La Land. I’d heard mixed reviews, but we both really enjoyed it and I loved the music. By the time we got home I felt completely wiped out, and was really struggling with seeing loads of Valentine’s stuff. I know it’s only a silly holiday, but it’s just another reminder of being single. Anyway, it was made better by receiving a cute card from my friend Libby, and another card, which I have no idea who it was from! 

I had counseling first thing on Wednesday morning, which was good as I have a lot going on in my head that needs making sense of. I found it really hard to get through the session though because I felt so poorly. My Dad and I were going to go and look at some more cars, but I just didn’t have the energy so he brought me home. I curled up on the sofa and fell asleep for the rest of the morning. I woke up around lunchtime, so had my Fortisip and watched a bit of TV with my Dad (we like to watch Father Brown together and try to work out who the killer is!) I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to do some research for my Uni essay, but was really struggling to find the motivation. I just felt so unwell and every day seemed to wake up feeling worse rather than better. It takes a lot out of you. I did open some post though (which I actually received on Tuesday) – this lovely box of goodies from a Valentine’s swap I took part in. Everything in it was so thoughtful and really made me smile, especially the Dumbo TsumTsum to add to my little collection.

On Thursday morning, my Dad and I went to a Skoda dealership to look at some more Motability cars. A loved lady showed us a couple of cars including the Yeti, which looked like it might fit my wheelchair and will cost a lot less than the Kuga we looked at. They booked me a test drive for next week, so I’ll see what it’s like to drive and go from there. After that we went next door to a Vauxhall garage, but unfortunately the staff were quite rude and didn’t seem at all interested in helping us so, after nearly half an hour waiting to speak to someone, we ended up walking out. I understand that they were busy (although there only seemed to be two people actually dealing with customers) but we’ve been to other dealerships that have been busy and they’ve dealt with us a lot better. So we came home, I had my Fortisip and watched a bit of TV. In the afternoon my friend came round to do my reflexology session, which was very relaxing and just what I needed. My Mum then took me down to the chemist so we could talk to the pharmacist and get me some medicine to try and ease the symptoms of this horrible virus. I have a really nasty cough and my breathing has been getting worse, which isn’t great, as my respiratory problems have been getting progressively worse anyway. I ordered a couple more Disney DVDs, which arrived in the post. My collection is gradually growing and looks so pretty!

Friday was a bit of a crazy day and I felt well and truly shattered by the evening! My morning started with going out to Marks and Spencer with my sister-in-law, Emma, which was nice. We also had a quick look in Tesco next door. Emma dropped me home and I rested on the sofa and did a bit more Uni work. After lunch, my Mum and I went round to my friend Katy’s. My Mum had her nails done in preparation for her birthday, so while she was doing that I did some work on my laptop. Then I had a massage, which was nice and relaxing but lying on my stomach made breathing more difficult. We popped into Waitrose afterwards and I bought some beautiful tulips. After resting at home for a little while, my Mum took me down to the Doctors to see my GP. She’s referring me to the psychotherapy department of one of our local hospitals, so I’m really hoping I might be able to get some help. She’s also trying me on some new medication, Montelukast, as my respiratory problems are getting worse and I’m really struggling with my breathing. When we came out of the Doctors we saw this gorgeous sunset – of course I had to take a photo!

Saturday was the start of my Mum’s 60^th Birthday celebrations! In the morning my Mum, Dad, David, Emma, Bekkah and I went to The Chequers for breakfast/brunch. When we got home, my Dad took my Mum out to The Vyne to see some of the spring flowers. Emma and I popped down to the newsagents to get some helium balloons, and then we came back and started preparing a surprised afternoon tea. Bekkah baked a birthday cake, Emma made sandwiches and I put balloons up and got the table ready. My parents got home mid-afternoon and I think my Mum was surprised by everything we’d put together! We spent the rest of the afternoon digging in to the food and drink and chatting, which was lovely. I was absolutely exhausted by the evening, so spent the rest of my evening resting with a cup of tea and Saturday night TV.

I thought I would share a few more photos from my Mum’s afternoon tea on Saturday. From top left, clockwise – The cake that Bekkah made for my Mum – Flowers we ordered that were delivered on Saturday – Cupcakes made by Emma – Some cute mini cupcakes from Marks and Spencer.

And here’s another little collage from the tea party. I particularly love the banner!

You can check out my YouTube channel here, where I have recently uploaded a few new videos (and hope to continue doing!)

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What have you been up to this week? I always enjoy hearing about your news and adventures!

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