Sunday Snippets - 9th October 2016

This week has been quite difficult – harder than it should have been. Birthdays can be hard work, especially when you’re chronically ill, and they always seem to come tinged with sadness. But I’ve tried my best to make the most of it being my special day, and have decided to spread the celebrations out over the whole month! I think I just need to keep reminding myself of the things I have achieved so far, and try not to obsess over the things I haven’t. In other news, our heating is finally fixed! So thankfully we’re no longer shivering round the log burner trying to stay warm.

I actually managed to get myself up at a fairly reasonable time last Sunday morning, which was good as I had a list of things that needed doing. I spent the morning watching back-to-back episodes of The Simpsons and writing a blog post. I then edited some photos for another blog post. After resting on the sofa for a little while, I popped Family Guy on and did a bit of Uni work. Late afternoon, my Mum and I drove over to Festival Place in Basingstoke for a South East Bloggers Circle event with Lush that I’d organised. We stopped off at Costa first to refuel, then made our way over to Lush. The girls in the store were fantastic and talked us through most of the Halloween, autumn and Christmas ranges. They have so many cool products this year, which I will be blogging about very soon!

How cute is the new LuLu Guinness tin for Vaseline! I’ve never had such a stylish tin for my lip balm! Keep your eyes peeled, as it will be available in stores very soon.

I was up early on Monday morning and drove my Dad and I over to Uni. I’m finding the drive quite stressful at the moment. I just hope if I keep doing it then it might get a bit easier. Uni was fairly long and boring unfortunately. In the morning we were talking about writing introductions. I popped to Starbucks in our break and treated myself to a Pumpkin Spice Latté (decaf this time!) After lunch we had a guest speaker in, but I found it really hard to concentrate for the whole afternoon. I was shattered by the time my Dad picked me up and brought me home, so I had a bit of a nap on the sofa. In the evening, my friends Helen and Sam came over and gave me this lovely birthday present. We had a good catch-up, which really cheered me up after a hard day.

Tuesday was my 28^th birthday! I had pretty mixed feelings about it to be honest. The child in me was excited and happy about it, but I also felt really sad. Birthdays have been difficult ever since my health went downhill. Each year is a reminder of another year of being unwell and my life not turning out as I’d hoped. At this age, I dreamed I’d be in a relationship, have my own house and a decent career, and sometimes it feels like these things will never happen. I was at Uni all day, which made celebrating quite difficult. My Uni friends surprised me with a card when I arrived, which was nice. We all went to Bill’s for lunch, which was lovely but unfortunately a bit of a rush. I was shattered when my Dad brought me home, so I had a sleep on the sofa. My Dad was out all evening, but Richard, Lisa, David and Emma all came round, which really cheered me up. We did my birthday cake and I opened a couple of lovely presents. My Mum gave me a beautiful ring, which belonged to my late Gran. I remember sitting with her as a child, listening to her tell me stories about all of the rings she wore. This one belonged to my great Grandmother’s sister, who had the same birthday as me. My Gran would always tell me the ring would be mine when she passed away, so it’s very precious.

I had a counselling session first thing on Wednesday morning, which was useful but hard work with feeling so exhausted. My Mum brought me home and all I felt like doing was going to sleep. But instead, I decided to try and be productive. I spent the rest of the morning writing and uploading a blog post, then editing and uploading a YouTube video. I had a bit of a rest on the sofa and watched some Family Guy. During the afternoon I managed to get quite a bit of Uni work done, so rewarded myself with another episode of Shetland. In the evening I thought I’d practise a bit of self-care and pamper myself. I was feeling really down and was struggling to find the motivation to keep going, which always feels scary.

I was able to have a little bit of a lie-in on Thursday morning because I didn’t need to worry about having any breakfast. My Dad drove me over to the hospital and took me up to the Endoscopy department. The nurse did my admission papers and told me I was last on the morning list, so I spent a couple of hours sitting in the waiting area reading my book. At around lunch time the doctor took me through to the room and I was sedated before they did my gastroscopy. After coming round in recovery, they explained that they hadn’t found a cause for my worsening acid pain and reflux, which I was a bit disappointed about if I’m honest. I’m on the highest dose possible of two reflux medications and it’s still getting worse, so I’ll need to talk to my professor about it. Once I felt well enough, my Mum picked me up and brought me home. I spent the rest of the afternoon resting on the sofa watching a bit of rubbish TV. I also opened my Crown and Glory Glitterati box, which included my birthday crown, which made me smile. But I was feeling so low again and kept crying. I think it’s partly because of the last two weeks being very stressful with my health and also turning 28, but also just life in general and feeling scared about the future.

I really should have spent Friday resting after my procedure on Thursday. But that would be too sensible! So I went into Uni for the day. If I hadn’t missed last Friday’s lecture and wasn’t missing bits over the next few weeks then I would have stayed at home, but I was too worried about missing even more. It was a real struggle to get through the day, and by the time my Dad picked me up I was pretty much falling apart. When I got home I fell asleep on the sofa for a while, then spent the evening just resting. These new copper fairy lights arrived in the post from Amazon and I love them. I’m just hoping they’re long enough to put on my bed; otherwise I might have to get another set.

Saturday morning I had to go for my flu jab with my Mum. The Doctors was absolutely manic, with people queuing out of the door, but thankfully they were getting through appointments pretty quickly. When we got home I fell asleep on the sofa until my Dad got back. Then he drove my Mum and I down to The New Forest for a little birthday trip. We went to The Drift Inn in Beaulieu for some lunch, which was lovely. When we came out there were a few ponies outside, including a gorgeous little foal. We then took a leisurely drive back home through lots of beautiful countryside and towns, including Lyndhurst and Romsey, and saw lots more ponies, donkeys and cows. After a bit of a rest when we got home, I opened a few of my cards and presents. I’m spreading them out because I get quite tired, but also overwhelmed by people’s kindness, so I find I can appreciate it more if I do a few at a time, as I can really take in what each person has chosen for me. That probably doesn’t make much sense, but I hope it does!

You can check out my YouTube channel here, where I have recently uploaded a few new videos (and hope to continue doing!)

I’m also trying to post on Snapchat a bit more, so if you fancy following me, my username is Jennycole44.

What have you been up to this week? I always enjoy hearing about your news and adventures!

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