This week has definitely had its ups and downs,
and in all honestly has been quite a struggle, especially towards the end of
the week. But we finally seem to be seeing spring now, so it’s been lovely to
feel a bit of warm sunshine on my face and see nature really blooming around
us. The only problem with it being warm and sunny is that my bedroom is in a
loft conversion, which basically turns into a sauna when the temperature rises.
As my computer is in my bedroom too, I’ve been finding it very hard to blog and
film, as I just don’t cope well with heat. This is when having a separate
office that isn’t in the loft would be amazing! Next week is looking very busy
with hospital appointments, which I’m not much looking forward to, but
hopefully they will bring some answers with them.
Last Sunday I thankfully felt a bit better
after sleeping most of Saturday. I spent my morning blogging and watching The
Simpsons (what else would I be doing on a Sunday?!) I had quite a chilled out
afternoon watching YouTube videos and writing letters to some of my penpals. We
had a family dinner with my Grandma round, which was nice, but I felt quite
poorly afterwards. I’ve mentioned before, but I’ve promised myself I will put
aside time for self-care at least once a week, self-care Sunday sounded good!
Plus it gets you feeling really refreshed for the week ahead. I didn’t feel
well enough to have a bath, so I just dug around and found some beauty samples
and mixed up my pamper routine a bit.
With Monday being a Bank Holiday, I was looking
forward to some time to just relax and take it easy. We had expected the
weather to be terrible, but when I woke up it was pretty good, so my Mum took
me down to our local May Fayre for a look around. I struggled to know what to
wear, as the weather was so changeable, so I ended up in my big Superdry coat
with my sunglasses on! My sister, Rosiie, came down a bit later with Freddie
and we all got our first ice cream of the year (and even Freddie had a little
lick!) I got tired out fairly quickly, so we came home and I had a rest. I
spent the rest of the afternoon watching YouTube and trying to get on top of my
blog emails.
I had an early start on Tuesday, as I had to go
down to the doctors for a blood pressure check. They’re concerned that some
medication I’m on is putting me at risk of having a stroke, so I’ve got to talk
to the neurologist next week and see what their thoughts are. I came home and
had a bit of a rest. Then I had to go back to the doctors to see my GP. She’s
going to ring my psychiatrist and express her concerns about me being
discharged, so I’m keeping everything crossed they will think again. I’ve also
got to have an ultrasound on my foot to see if there’s a problem with a nerve
and be seen again by the orthopaedics about my hips. In the afternoon my Dad
took me over to Uni for a couple of meetings. They were having a little end of
year celebration, but unfortunately I couldn’t stay. My new camera arrived so
we picked it up on the way home – I’m really excited to use it! The evening was
pretty awful unfortunately – I’m really struggling with my mental health.
On Wednesday morning I had a lot of trouble
getting up because my head was pounding and I couldn’t move or speak. It was
really scary, and although I get it a lot where I can’t move or sleep, I don’t
think I’ve had it alongside such a bad headache. Thankfully, after a couple of
hours I was able to move again, so could take some pain medication and I
started to feel a bit better. I actually managed to get two YouTube videos
filmed, so felt quite proud of myself as when I woke up I thought I’d have to
write the day off. Whether pushing myself was a good idea or not, only time
will tell! As I’d been stuck inside all day, my Dad took me down to the church
in the afternoon to look at the beautiful churchyard. It’s completely full of
bluebells and blossom trees, the sun was shining down and it felt so tranquil,
which was just what I needed.
Thursday was another beautiful sunny day, so my
Dad and I decided to go out and take some outfit photos for my blog. I really
wanted to take some amongst the bluebells, so we went to The Vyne (a National
Trust Place) as we’d heard they were good there. We got there at lunchtime, so
stopped at the café first and had a bite to eat. My Dad then pushed me round
one of the woodland walks (which was mostly wheelchair friendly, apart from a
couple of places where I had to get out an walk with my stick over big tree
roots!) There were loads of beautiful bluebells and we took photos along the
way. We then walked along the lake and through the walled garden, but
unfortunately there weren’t really any flowers out yet. On the way home we
stopped off to vote, then I crashed out on the sofa for the rest of the
afternoon.
Friday was quite a difficult day – I had an
early start, as my Dad had to take me over to Aldershot for a couple of
hospital appointments. My first one was with the Dietician, who is concerned
about the severity of my digestive symptoms and thinks I should be moving
towards a more liquid diet. I’ve got to speak to the professor at the end of
May and see what he says, and then we’ll go from there. I then had an
appointment with my mental health care co-ordinator, and was told I’ve been
completely discharged from the mental health service. I just came out and broke
down. They haven’t listened to anything I’ve said to them about how things are
at the moment. My GP has spoken to them in depth about her concerns and told
them she doesn’t believe I should be discharged. But I have been, and was told
to just call The Samaritans if I spiral any more. I’m terrified to be honest
and feel completely abandoned. I spent most of the afternoon breaking down in
tears, but managed to jot down what has happened in a letter, which I took down
to give to my GP. I’m really hoping something can be done because as well as my
GP saying I need mental health support, my gastro consultant, professor and
even my care co-ordinator have said I need more help. The only light in an
otherwise very dark day was seeing that my bleeding heart has started
flowering.
Yesterday was pretty busy, which was quite a
good distraction to be honest. My Mum and I went over to Festival Place in
Basingstoke, as I’d been invited to blog about a big fashion event that’s been
going on this weekend. I’ll be doing a separate blog post about it, so won’t go
into too much detail. But basically there was a health and beauty lounge with
different brands, which was good fun, and also catwalk shows with the latest
high-street trends. As well as covering the event, my Mum and I did a bit of
shopping too, although I was actually pretty restrained and didn’t buy much for
myself. It was a long but nice day, so when I eventually got home I crashed out
for the evening and watched some rubbish TV.
If you haven’t read my blog before, I just
wanted to let you know that I have a second blog, which mainly focuses on my health
in more depth than I talk about it here. It’s largely for friends and family to
follow and keep up with what’s going on, but if it’s something you would be
interested in reading as well, you are more than welcome to follow me over
there. I’ve actually changed the name from Unicorns and Floral Crowns to ‘Zebra
Crossing’ and you can find it by clicking here. I’m trying to keep it updated fairly regularly, so hopefully
there will be something there for you to read!
I’m also trying to post on Snapchat a bit more,
so if you fancy following me, my username is Jennycole44.
What have you been up to this week? I always
enjoy hearing about your news and adventures!
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