In my life this week…
Difficult week
Unfortunately this week has
been what I can only describe as awful. I don’t like to be too negative on my
blog, but I do also think it’s important to be real. I’ve been struggling with
my mental health for a long time, but this week my mood has just plummeted, my
eating disorder thoughts have got stronger and my anxiety is sky high. When I
go to sleep at night I pray that I won’t wake up, and when I wake up the next
morning I just cry. It’s horrible. I’ve given up looking for reasons as to why
my mental health gets worse, because nine times out of ten there isn’t a
reason, and I just end up beating myself up because I can’t find a reason. I’m
trying to get an appointment with my psychiatrist because I can’t carry on like
this, but I’m not really sure she’s going to be able to do anything to make
this better. I get scared when I feel this bad and nothing I seem to do helps.
All I can say is, I really hope next week might be a bit better.
Scan at UCLH
On Friday, after having to
stop some of my medications and therefore feeling super poorly, my Dad and I
made our way up to London. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember much of the journey
– I slept on the train all the way up and then we managed to find a taxi but I
was in a bit of a daydream as I was in so much pain and felt so unwell. The
taxi took us to University College London Hospital, which I’ve got to say is an
amazing hospital. I did get a bit tearful because it seemed like a massive reminder
of just how much I want to work in the medical field, and at the moment that
just isn’t possible. But anyway, the reason I went up there was to take part in
some pretty exciting research. They’re trying to develop a scan for people with
EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) who have gastric motility problems like I do. So,
they’re scanning healthy people, people with diabetic neuropathy and people
like me with EDS and motility problems. I had to lie in the MRI scanner on my
stomach for 15 minutes, drink some water, and then lay there for another 45
minutes while the continually scanned me. It was pretty claustrophobic, but I
felt so unwell that I just closed my eyes and tried to doze a bit! I felt
pretty wobbly after, but it was nice to be able to take some painkillers after
having to stop them for a couple of days (the ones I take can affect motility
so they had to be stopped for the scans). I’ll be really interested to follow
the research and they’ve said they will send me a video of my scan, which
should be interesting!
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| Image from NHS |
Disney DVDs
I got very excited this
week when my friend told me that Disney DVDs were on BOGOF on Zavvi, Amazon and
Tesco. As some of you might know, I’m trying to collect the full set of Disney
DVDs (all 52 of them!) so every time they go on offer I’m there! After much
deliberation, I decided on these four to add to my collection. I’ve never
actually watched the whole of Alice in Wonderland and have never seen Brave, so
I can’t wait to watch both of them properly. And after the week I’ve had, I
think a Disney session is very much in order right now!
What has grabbed your attention this
week? I love hearing about people’s new discoveries and you may end up sharing
something that makes it onto my list next week!
Sorry to hear you are not well. I really hope everything gets better soon- Disney will definitely help :) The video of your scan should be pretty interesting! Can't believe you haven't watched Brave, it's one of my faves, I love Wreck it Ralph too! x
ReplyDeleteThank you hun I really appreciate your support. Yeah I'm excited to see the scan video! I know I'm so behind aren't I! Must sit down and watch it soon! xx
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